Sunday, March 22, 2009

How Long Does It Take to Move On Past Divorce?

PEOPLE HAVE ASKED ME.....
How long did it take you to find the positive side of your divorce?

My book discusses this at length, but the short answer is "about two years" for most everyone. Many books I have read say the same thing.

PERSONALLY, It took me only a few weeks. I was a lucky one.
After two weeks of pleading by me to try counseling, I gave up on that and started thinking just about me and my two boys. My oldest was going to college and already on his own. The youngest son was going to be a sophomore in high school and was very close to his Mom. We were lucky about our boys' ages.

That left me to decide only what I want to do for ME mostly.

While finishing our dissolution terms with a lawyer about the same couple of weeks later, he remarked, "Wow! you've got to be the most positive guy I've seen this early in a divorce!" I liked that! I knew then I was on my way to a better life for me!
My positive thinking helped a lot!


SOME OTHER FOLKS CAN SPEND VERY LONG TIMES TRYING TO GET STARTED AND MOVE ON PAST THEIR DIVORCE OR SEPARATION. It is mostly up to each of us.

HERE ARE A COUPLE ANSWERS FROM TWO OTHERS...
1) I am not there yet. I wanted my husband to go to counseling and while we went he was dating other women. After realizing he was not going to put his energy back into our relationship and our family, I decided to file for divorce.
I have joined a single mother's ministry at church, reconnected with old friends and continue to make new ones. The loss and hurt are still very present & painful.
Everyday I remind myself to do the right thing for me and our child - it just still hurts.

2)I was lucky, it took me no time at all to be noticed by a lovely lady who charmed me into forgetting about my troubles and gave me something to look forward to!


THERE ARE MANY OTHER STORIES, BUT AGAIN THE MOST REPORTED AVERAGE TIME IS TWO YEARS.
It takes that much time to get into your new living arrangements, a new or part time job, new routines, new friends and perhaps a lot of time to think through what you want to do now and how to get started.
THERE ARE NO RIGHT ANSWERS FOR YOUR SITUATION. BE COMFORTABLE AND TAKE YOUR TIME.
I HAVE FOUND THAT FASTER IS MOSTLY BETTER, ESPECIALLY IF YOU GET BUSY TRYING NEW THINGS. If busy enough, you will wake up some day after a great day you just had and realize you have already moved on!!

Brian Daniel

Help & Recovery Tips for Divorce/Separated Folks

It's been six years since my divorce after 24 years of marriage. My two boys are on their own now and so am I.

I wrote a book about divorce recovery because I think it can help the millions of other people who suffer through divorce each year in our country. With some prayers and some positive thinking, you can see the real upside is that You Can Have a Second Chance at Life! My book tells of my own experiences and how I was able to see the many more positive sides of divorce that are there too to enjoy in your new life AFTER divorce. And it is possible to make it a Happier and More Enjoyable life too!

If you want to get my book, search WWW. Self-Help-Products-and-Services.com (discounts available here!).....or search "upside of divorce" in Books section of amazon.com.

My book is listed on amazon.com. It has received a recommendation from Self-Help-Product-Reviews and a full 5-star rating from my first reviewer at amazon.com.


OTHER FOLKS HAVE RESPONDED BACK TO ME ABOUT THEIR "UPSIDES" TOO!
HERE'S ONE OF THEM....
I have to agree with you. There is life after divorce. I am free to make my own choices about every facet of my life. Sure going through the divorce was probably the hardest thing I have ever done.
During the divorce I lived on a very limited income. But it didn't stop me from going to college and getting a degree in Social Work and I have gone back to college three more times to get certificates in Office Technology, Medical Transcription and Medical Billing.
I live alone in a trailer that I bought and own. First home I have ever owned. I am slowly remodeling it. Never knew I had an talent in this sort of thing. I have found that I like being independent. I have had to learn plumbing, and electricity, and I am proud of the things I can do now and the things I have accomplished.
I have met many new people. I go dancing once a month. I am enjoying my life and my freedom. I should have done this 18 years ago.
So to all of you out there...if you aren't happy leave. There is life after divorce. It takes a bit of adjusting to......but your biggest fear is the fear of the unknown. You have one life to live...you might as well make it a happy one!

THERE ARE MANY OTHERS WHO HAVE SUCCESS STORIES TOO!
It is good to hear from someone else who can become positive even, with such a traumatic change in life.
Divorce will force some changes on us. They can all be bad ones, or we can turn them into good ones!
It is mostly up to each of us, ourselves, how we decide to go on and live the rest of lives. We can choose to make this second chance at life, our chance to make it a happier and more enjoyable one than the one we had before!

You too can find UPSIDES to your divorce or separation. You can do it as soon as you decide to.....

Brian Daniel