It has been many weeks since my last blog and I will get back to adding some new parts of my Book for you shortly. I apologize for the weeks gone by while I spent twittering about my book, and other Self-Help Info that can really help others.
Part of my tweets are naming the many many more UPSIDES of divorce/separation. I had started numbering each of the upsides and have tweeted some 66 upsides of divorce so far.
The short length of tweets is a unique challenge to make thoughts "short and sweet" and I find them interesting and always to the point!
So if you get a chance to view some of these tweets and the other info help that I have entered there, enjoy them and by all means tweet back some when you can.
Brian Daniel
Friday, December 9, 2011
Sunday, November 6, 2011
My Book and Its Contents Blogged to You Piece by Piece - Part 5
Some Help Too for Those Who Lost a Loved One
You may have noticed, from the previous posts, that a lot of this book will focus on changing your life to do new and different things, in order to make a new beginning for yourself. This can be a very effective way to recover from a very traumatic change in life, whether it is divorce, separation or losing a loved one.
As such, this book may also help someone you know who has lost a dear friend or partner through some unfortunate accident or illness. So please share this book with others who have suffered the loss of a loved one.
They may be having problems too with anger and depression, and they may be wrestling with all the changes they now face, which they didn’t want either. They also may be lost, for a while, wondering if and how they can move on past their significant loss.
The positive thinking and new opportunities presented here may help them make the most of their traumatic change and start living better in their second chance at life. They may also try some of the good self-improvement “things-to-do” which may help them to find another happier life to enjoy again.
Brian Daniel
You may have noticed, from the previous posts, that a lot of this book will focus on changing your life to do new and different things, in order to make a new beginning for yourself. This can be a very effective way to recover from a very traumatic change in life, whether it is divorce, separation or losing a loved one.
As such, this book may also help someone you know who has lost a dear friend or partner through some unfortunate accident or illness. So please share this book with others who have suffered the loss of a loved one.
They may be having problems too with anger and depression, and they may be wrestling with all the changes they now face, which they didn’t want either. They also may be lost, for a while, wondering if and how they can move on past their significant loss.
The positive thinking and new opportunities presented here may help them make the most of their traumatic change and start living better in their second chance at life. They may also try some of the good self-improvement “things-to-do” which may help them to find another happier life to enjoy again.
Brian Daniel
Sunday, October 30, 2011
My Book and Its Contents Blogged to You Piece by Piece - Part 4
WHAT MY BOOK, "Yes There Is an Upside of Divorce" IS ALL ABOUT!
__________________________________________
In this book, you can read about my personal experiences with divorce and learn from me how you can make the best of your divorce and separation. You can first learn how to handle the negative issues and some of these main subjects are:
Get Rid of Your Anger.
Quit Thinking You Are a Failure.
Beware of Depression!
Don’t Put Your Family / Friends In the Middle of Your Divorce.
_____________________________
You can then begin to enjoy all the positive sides of your divorce and separation, turning this unfortunate life event into your second chance at life. And you can, with help from these main subjects, make your new life after divorce and separation, a happier and more enjoyable one too, full of positive things-to-do!
How Long Will It Take to Move On?
Seeing Your Own UPSIDE Opportunities After Divorce.
How Matching and Dating Services Can and Do Work!
Find Another Partner to Share Life.
Will You Marry or Just Be Best Friends?
Staying Young with Romance and Sex!
Improve Yourself with Self-Actualization.
Always Be Positive and Enjoy the Moment!
Brian Daniel
__________________________________________
In this book, you can read about my personal experiences with divorce and learn from me how you can make the best of your divorce and separation. You can first learn how to handle the negative issues and some of these main subjects are:
Get Rid of Your Anger.
Quit Thinking You Are a Failure.
Beware of Depression!
Don’t Put Your Family / Friends In the Middle of Your Divorce.
_____________________________
You can then begin to enjoy all the positive sides of your divorce and separation, turning this unfortunate life event into your second chance at life. And you can, with help from these main subjects, make your new life after divorce and separation, a happier and more enjoyable one too, full of positive things-to-do!
How Long Will It Take to Move On?
Seeing Your Own UPSIDE Opportunities After Divorce.
How Matching and Dating Services Can and Do Work!
Find Another Partner to Share Life.
Will You Marry or Just Be Best Friends?
Staying Young with Romance and Sex!
Improve Yourself with Self-Actualization.
Always Be Positive and Enjoy the Moment!
Brian Daniel
Saturday, October 29, 2011
My Book and Its Contents Blogged to You Piece by Piece - Part 3
When I first started writing my book, I called it the "Positive Side of Divorce".
But I soon found out that most people turn off with this title because they simply don't believe there is any upside at all.
After my physical exam, my doctor asked me what was new and I told him about writing my book and its title and he too simply replied quickly and said "There is No Upside of Divorce" and closed the door and walked away.
I was concerned that many others may do the same and just walk away after just reading my title.
So I changed the title to "Yes, There IS an Upside of Divorce, It Can Be Your Second Chance at Life"....I added "Yes, There IS" to be more emphatic and offered what specifically that Upside may actually be.
I also thought I should add the part "And You Can Make It a Happier and More Enjoyable Life Too!" to attract their real interest in what they all would want. That is why the full title is so long! LOL!
Brian Daniel
But I soon found out that most people turn off with this title because they simply don't believe there is any upside at all.
After my physical exam, my doctor asked me what was new and I told him about writing my book and its title and he too simply replied quickly and said "There is No Upside of Divorce" and closed the door and walked away.
I was concerned that many others may do the same and just walk away after just reading my title.
So I changed the title to "Yes, There IS an Upside of Divorce, It Can Be Your Second Chance at Life"....I added "Yes, There IS" to be more emphatic and offered what specifically that Upside may actually be.
I also thought I should add the part "And You Can Make It a Happier and More Enjoyable Life Too!" to attract their real interest in what they all would want. That is why the full title is so long! LOL!
Brian Daniel
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
My Book and Its Contents Blogged to You Piece by Piece - Part 2
My Book's Preview -
"Here’s a positive approach to a very difficult time. Although the book is about divorce, it could easily be applied to any negative life circumstance.
Grieving is a natural part of any life loss; however I've seen people that never fully recover even years after their divorce or loss. Brian was able to have a positive attitude quickly — you can too!
Full of useful advice and practical examples, this book should be more about living ANY life in a positive way. Don't wait for a negative event to put his ideas to use!"
GiGi Konwin, Self Help Product Reviews
"Here’s a positive approach to a very difficult time. Although the book is about divorce, it could easily be applied to any negative life circumstance.
Grieving is a natural part of any life loss; however I've seen people that never fully recover even years after their divorce or loss. Brian was able to have a positive attitude quickly — you can too!
Full of useful advice and practical examples, this book should be more about living ANY life in a positive way. Don't wait for a negative event to put his ideas to use!"
GiGi Konwin, Self Help Product Reviews
Saturday, October 22, 2011
My Book and Its Contents Blogged to You Piece by Piece
I think it will be fun to go over every theme, reference and Chapters of my book, "Yes, There IS an Upside of Divorce - It Can Be Your Second Chance at Life!
Each of these new blogs will summarize the ways for you to find the upsides of your divorce or separation.
There may be sixty or so of these blogs to cover all the points and helping ways you can use to Make YOUR Life a Happier and More Enjoyable Life Too!
Brian Daniel
Each of these new blogs will summarize the ways for you to find the upsides of your divorce or separation.
There may be sixty or so of these blogs to cover all the points and helping ways you can use to Make YOUR Life a Happier and More Enjoyable Life Too!
Brian Daniel
Friday, October 21, 2011
The Negative Sides of Divorce/Separation and Then......
Yes, there are Downsides of divorce or separation too!
I discuss upfront in my book that all of us divorced partners have the same small set of downsides to deal with, right away and pretty intense too!
Anger, loss of self esteem, loneliness and some despair and depression are the most frequent downside issues. Everyone has these and they can keep you down so far and for so long that it is tough to work through them.
But, I can tell you that they don't last forever - they can linger months and maybe years too.
The fastest and easiest way to get through them is to try and see the positive sides that may be there for you as well. New Friends, new job, new hobbies, new surroundings to explore, self improvements, and so on, can be positive distractions to get you going into your new life.
And my book can show you how I was able to make my new life after divorce, a happier and more enjoyable one! I did it, and you can too!
Brian Daniel
I discuss upfront in my book that all of us divorced partners have the same small set of downsides to deal with, right away and pretty intense too!
Anger, loss of self esteem, loneliness and some despair and depression are the most frequent downside issues. Everyone has these and they can keep you down so far and for so long that it is tough to work through them.
But, I can tell you that they don't last forever - they can linger months and maybe years too.
The fastest and easiest way to get through them is to try and see the positive sides that may be there for you as well. New Friends, new job, new hobbies, new surroundings to explore, self improvements, and so on, can be positive distractions to get you going into your new life.
And my book can show you how I was able to make my new life after divorce, a happier and more enjoyable one! I did it, and you can too!
Brian Daniel
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Try a Really Different Life t\Than the One You Had Before!
When someone really wants to move on past, fast and easily, they begin changing almost everything that they did before.
This creates an entirely new person, who has new friends, new hobbies, moves to different surroundings, gets a new job, changes daily habits to others, and so forth.
By doing so, they "divorce" themselves from all that was them before to them now. This entirely new life and all that has changed makes it easier and faster to live that new life which has no ties to their previous one.
When you truly are different in many ways than before, YOU ARE A NEW PERSON, LIVING A NEW LIFE!
Brian Daniel
This creates an entirely new person, who has new friends, new hobbies, moves to different surroundings, gets a new job, changes daily habits to others, and so forth.
By doing so, they "divorce" themselves from all that was them before to them now. This entirely new life and all that has changed makes it easier and faster to live that new life which has no ties to their previous one.
When you truly are different in many ways than before, YOU ARE A NEW PERSON, LIVING A NEW LIFE!
Brian Daniel
Sunday, October 9, 2011
eBook versions of my "Upside of Divorce" book and my Money Ideas!
I will try "Bundling" BOTH of my eBook versions of my divorce recovery book, which happens to be my blog name here.......AND.......My Ten Money Ideas too!
These have been separate copies selling for $5.99 and $3.99 respectively.
But soon these BOTH will be "bundled" together for just $7.99 plus PayPal additional charges.
I hope that this special limited time offer will increase in interest for each of these eBook offerings and increase overall sales!
Any questions out there?
Brian Daniel
These have been separate copies selling for $5.99 and $3.99 respectively.
But soon these BOTH will be "bundled" together for just $7.99 plus PayPal additional charges.
I hope that this special limited time offer will increase in interest for each of these eBook offerings and increase overall sales!
Any questions out there?
Brian Daniel
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Positive Divorce Recovery is BEST!
Life Coaches, divorce blogs, divorce professionals, many divorce recovery programs and many authors of divorce books all agree that a positive attitude is the best way to move on easier and faster.
It is said in many different ways, many words are used, many examples are given, but the underline topic is that POSITIVE is better, seeing OPPORTUNITIES not challenges, finding the GOOD not the bad in situations and every day life, and EMBRACING these new changes in one's life will, indeed, make it easier and faster to move on.
Hundreds of books, coaches, articles, blogs, experiences and program themes and subjects cannot ALL be wrong.
Try my book, "Yes There Is an Upside of Divorce" or other positive recovery books and make your move on faster and easier too.
Brian Daniel
It is said in many different ways, many words are used, many examples are given, but the underline topic is that POSITIVE is better, seeing OPPORTUNITIES not challenges, finding the GOOD not the bad in situations and every day life, and EMBRACING these new changes in one's life will, indeed, make it easier and faster to move on.
Hundreds of books, coaches, articles, blogs, experiences and program themes and subjects cannot ALL be wrong.
Try my book, "Yes There Is an Upside of Divorce" or other positive recovery books and make your move on faster and easier too.
Brian Daniel
Thursday, October 6, 2011
If You Use Your UPSIDES of Divorce Enough, You Will Be POSITIVE !
Looking back on my own experiences, I have four regular hobbies which I spend a lot of time with, I have three others that I casually spend time on, I have significantly dated eight ladies now, I still have two jobs most of the year, I take care of our family home and have spruced it up each year and still find time to visit good friends every couple of weeks.
These are all my upsides and they keep me busy and make me very happy and satisfied.
I am very positive about life and live a full day each day. This has caused me to sleep better and have had to lengthen my sleep hours a bit now that I am almost sixty years old.
I am very thankful for all that I have and for all I have done so far. I still do all the simple daily things that make me happy, and the exercise and all the supplements that I wrote about in my book.
ALL these UPSIDES have made me POSITIVE, in short, an eternal optimist.
Give my book and yourself a try!
Brian Daniel
These are all my upsides and they keep me busy and make me very happy and satisfied.
I am very positive about life and live a full day each day. This has caused me to sleep better and have had to lengthen my sleep hours a bit now that I am almost sixty years old.
I am very thankful for all that I have and for all I have done so far. I still do all the simple daily things that make me happy, and the exercise and all the supplements that I wrote about in my book.
ALL these UPSIDES have made me POSITIVE, in short, an eternal optimist.
Give my book and yourself a try!
Brian Daniel
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Another Who Has Found Upside(s) of Divorce
A blog called "365 Letters to Mom" talked about the upsides they found.
Extended family members, more friends, and cousins too.
Please read it when you can, I couldn't comment and ask for permission.
PS: Reason for their blog? "Mom and me"
My book is on Amazon --Search "upside of divorce"--thanks!
Brian Daniel
Extended family members, more friends, and cousins too.
Please read it when you can, I couldn't comment and ask for permission.
PS: Reason for their blog? "Mom and me"
My book is on Amazon --Search "upside of divorce"--thanks!
Brian Daniel
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
There Continue to Be Many UPSIDES of Divorce/Separation!
Divorce Professionals on Linked In believe many of the same things I write about in my book.
They advise to start a new destiny after divorce, they advise their clients to do NEW things to try and do, they explain how it will increase confidence and self esteem.
Learning to do what you want to do, learning to love yourself, learning about the deep down you and what your interests really are.
Many of the LARGE same changes in new surroundings, new friends, new hobbies, and new interesting people to meet and date! These can be scary at first, but can actually be your next great years ahead.
My book and approach to recovery works! There are many others who agree with what is in my book!
Brian Daniel
They advise to start a new destiny after divorce, they advise their clients to do NEW things to try and do, they explain how it will increase confidence and self esteem.
Learning to do what you want to do, learning to love yourself, learning about the deep down you and what your interests really are.
Many of the LARGE same changes in new surroundings, new friends, new hobbies, and new interesting people to meet and date! These can be scary at first, but can actually be your next great years ahead.
My book and approach to recovery works! There are many others who agree with what is in my book!
Brian Daniel
Sunday, July 24, 2011
My First eBook Sale!
I had been slow to use this additional internet outlet for my book copies.
Using Kindle through Amazon was over $1000 or more up-front cost and I was pretty nervous about selling enough e-copies to get that investment paid for!
But it took only two weeks of updated ads to get this first eBook sale.
I'm more positive about this selling for sure!
And, I'm anxious to see how many will sell this way.
Brian Daniel
Using Kindle through Amazon was over $1000 or more up-front cost and I was pretty nervous about selling enough e-copies to get that investment paid for!
But it took only two weeks of updated ads to get this first eBook sale.
I'm more positive about this selling for sure!
And, I'm anxious to see how many will sell this way.
Brian Daniel
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Divorce Seminars in Texas via GoToMeeting
Here's my ad with Kenneth Gober, Texas Lawyer...posted to Craigslist Community in Austin...
Divorce / Separation Overview Seminar via GoToMeeting (Internet - USA)
Date: 2011-07-12, 6:52PM CDT
Reply to: tibodad@yahoo.com [Errors when replying to ads?]
Topics will be general topics of family law and divorce law in Texas and would include:
1. Division of Property and Debts,
2. Classification of Community and Separate Property,
3. Child Support,
4. Child Custody,
5. The Divorce Procedure -- From Filing of the Petition to Final Decree of Divorce.
Please join one of our two discussion meetings about Divorce/Separation which will be held August 9th and 16th, 2011 at 5:30 pm to 7:00 pm CST, via GoToMeeting.
(GoToMeeting is an internet conferencing provider.)
The cost to attend this Divorce Seminar will be $30 plus a small fee for handling through PayPal and the Self-Help-Products-and-Services.com website. YOU WILL NOT NEED TO PAY ANYTHING UNTIL WE RECEIVE ENOUGH SIGN-UPS, eight or more.
This GoToMeeting format will be available on your personal computer through the GoToMeeting internet site. No phone call is needed as the presenter's voice can be heard through your personal computer's speakers.
These meetings are limited in size to allow for more personal time to answer any general questions you may have about Texas law. There is a minimum size of 10 attendees and a maximum of 15 attendees to facilitate discussions.
The main speaker and presenter is,
Kenneth Parks Gober III, a practicing Texas Divorce Lawyer.
phone: 512-827-7548
fax: 512.478.8081
email: kgober@rwleelaw.com
He has represented hundreds of individuals in uncontested and agreed divorces across the State of Texas. His divorce practice focuses on a fast and fair divorce based on Texas law and values.
WANT TO SIGN UP? If you are interested and want to sign up, send your email address and ANY QUESTIONS to this email address, James@Self-Help-Products-and-Services.com and he will update you on these meeting signups. Once eight or more have said they will sign up, he will ask you to pay on PayPal and then send you a link to your email address so that you can attend. You will be given notice on a first come, first served basis.
You can also e-mail specific questions ahead of time that are important to you.
Note: There will be no sharing of email addresses or names.
The purpose of this seminar is education of the lay participants. Only general questions about Texas law may be answered during the seminar, specific individual problems must be addressed privately with counsel to protect confidentiality concerns
Divorce / Separation Overview Seminar via GoToMeeting (Internet - USA)
Date: 2011-07-12, 6:52PM CDT
Reply to: tibodad@yahoo.com [Errors when replying to ads?]
Topics will be general topics of family law and divorce law in Texas and would include:
1. Division of Property and Debts,
2. Classification of Community and Separate Property,
3. Child Support,
4. Child Custody,
5. The Divorce Procedure -- From Filing of the Petition to Final Decree of Divorce.
Please join one of our two discussion meetings about Divorce/Separation which will be held August 9th and 16th, 2011 at 5:30 pm to 7:00 pm CST, via GoToMeeting.
(GoToMeeting is an internet conferencing provider.)
The cost to attend this Divorce Seminar will be $30 plus a small fee for handling through PayPal and the Self-Help-Products-and-Services.com website. YOU WILL NOT NEED TO PAY ANYTHING UNTIL WE RECEIVE ENOUGH SIGN-UPS, eight or more.
This GoToMeeting format will be available on your personal computer through the GoToMeeting internet site. No phone call is needed as the presenter's voice can be heard through your personal computer's speakers.
These meetings are limited in size to allow for more personal time to answer any general questions you may have about Texas law. There is a minimum size of 10 attendees and a maximum of 15 attendees to facilitate discussions.
The main speaker and presenter is,
Kenneth Parks Gober III, a practicing Texas Divorce Lawyer.
phone: 512-827-7548
fax: 512.478.8081
email: kgober@rwleelaw.com
He has represented hundreds of individuals in uncontested and agreed divorces across the State of Texas. His divorce practice focuses on a fast and fair divorce based on Texas law and values.
WANT TO SIGN UP? If you are interested and want to sign up, send your email address and ANY QUESTIONS to this email address, James@Self-Help-Products-and-Services.com and he will update you on these meeting signups. Once eight or more have said they will sign up, he will ask you to pay on PayPal and then send you a link to your email address so that you can attend. You will be given notice on a first come, first served basis.
You can also e-mail specific questions ahead of time that are important to you.
Note: There will be no sharing of email addresses or names.
The purpose of this seminar is education of the lay participants. Only general questions about Texas law may be answered during the seminar, specific individual problems must be addressed privately with counsel to protect confidentiality concerns
Friday, July 15, 2011
Divorce Seminar August 9th and August 16th via Internet and GoToMeeting
I have used Craigslist to sell some books and will be trying again to get folks together in Texas to get some help in understanding the process of divorce/separation.
I will be the moderator and organizer for these web seminars.
Brian Daniel
....(the Craigslist ad is as follows)....
Divorce and Separation Overview Seminar via the Internet
Please join one of our two discussion meetings about Divorce/Separation which will be held August 9th and 16th, 2011 at 5:30 pm to 7:00 pm CST, via GoToMeeting.
(GoToMeeting is an internet conferencing provider.)
Topics will be general topics of family law and divorce law in Texas and would include:
1. Division of Property and Debts,
2. Classification of Community and Separate Property,
3. Child Support,
4. Child Custody,
5. The Divorce Procedure – From Filing of the Petition to Final Decree of Divorce.
The cost to attend this Divorce Seminar will be $30 plus a small fee for handling through PayPal and the Self-Help-Products-and-Services.com website. YOU WILL NOT NEED TO PAY ANYTHING UNTIL WE RECEIVE ENOUGH SIGN-UPS, eight or more.
This GoToMeeting format will be available on your personal computer through the GoToMeeting internet site. No phone call is needed as the presenter’s voice can be heard through your personal computer’s speakers.
These meetings are limited in size to allow for more personal time to answer any general questions you may have about Texas law. There is a minimum size of 10 attendees and a maximum of 15 attendees to facilitate discussions.
The main speaker and presenter is,
Kenneth Parks Gober III, a practicing Texas Divorce Lawyer.
phone: 512-827-7548
fax: 512.478.8081
email: kgober@rwleelaw.com
He has represented hundreds of individuals in uncontested and agreed divorces across the State of Texas. His divorce practice focuses on a fast and fair divorce based on Texas law and values.
If you are interested and want to sign up, send your email address to this email address, James@Self-Help-Products-andServices.com and he will update you on these meeting signups. Once eight or more have said they will sign up, he will ask you to pay on PayPal and then send you a link to your email address so that you can attend. You will be given notice on a first come, first served basis.
You can also e-mail specific questions ahead of time that are important to you.
Note: There will be no sharing of email addresses or names.
The purpose of this seminar is education of the lay participants. Only general questions about Texas law may be answered during the seminar, specific individual problems must be addressed privately with counsel to protect confidentiality concerns.
I will be the moderator and organizer for these web seminars.
Brian Daniel
....(the Craigslist ad is as follows)....
Divorce and Separation Overview Seminar via the Internet
Please join one of our two discussion meetings about Divorce/Separation which will be held August 9th and 16th, 2011 at 5:30 pm to 7:00 pm CST, via GoToMeeting.
(GoToMeeting is an internet conferencing provider.)
Topics will be general topics of family law and divorce law in Texas and would include:
1. Division of Property and Debts,
2. Classification of Community and Separate Property,
3. Child Support,
4. Child Custody,
5. The Divorce Procedure – From Filing of the Petition to Final Decree of Divorce.
The cost to attend this Divorce Seminar will be $30 plus a small fee for handling through PayPal and the Self-Help-Products-and-Services.com website. YOU WILL NOT NEED TO PAY ANYTHING UNTIL WE RECEIVE ENOUGH SIGN-UPS, eight or more.
This GoToMeeting format will be available on your personal computer through the GoToMeeting internet site. No phone call is needed as the presenter’s voice can be heard through your personal computer’s speakers.
These meetings are limited in size to allow for more personal time to answer any general questions you may have about Texas law. There is a minimum size of 10 attendees and a maximum of 15 attendees to facilitate discussions.
The main speaker and presenter is,
Kenneth Parks Gober III, a practicing Texas Divorce Lawyer.
phone: 512-827-7548
fax: 512.478.8081
email: kgober@rwleelaw.com
He has represented hundreds of individuals in uncontested and agreed divorces across the State of Texas. His divorce practice focuses on a fast and fair divorce based on Texas law and values.
If you are interested and want to sign up, send your email address to this email address, James@Self-Help-Products-andServices.com and he will update you on these meeting signups. Once eight or more have said they will sign up, he will ask you to pay on PayPal and then send you a link to your email address so that you can attend. You will be given notice on a first come, first served basis.
You can also e-mail specific questions ahead of time that are important to you.
Note: There will be no sharing of email addresses or names.
The purpose of this seminar is education of the lay participants. Only general questions about Texas law may be answered during the seminar, specific individual problems must be addressed privately with counsel to protect confidentiality concerns.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Divorce Mediation, Another Choice to Make?
It seems some state laws are now in place that will not allow final divorce decrees to be final for some reconsideration time.
Divorce mediation can play an important part in more quickly and easily negotiate the fair division of house, property and other financial assets. Arriving at other issues like custody and visitation can also be less contentious.
Pennsylvania has set a minimum of six months for most divorce petitions and this can be time well spent. Pennsylvania has seen some large reduction in divorce rates, on the order of 50%!
My book can be a help too as it can show you what common negative sides of splitting up may need to be addressed. Being divorced and having to move on past all the anger, loneliness, loss of self-esteem and so forth is significant and can take a lot of time.
The upsides of divorce and separation can be useful to see too, as I and others have done it, and made great recoveries. That is, one can find new challenges, hobbies, self-improvements and other things-to-do which can make a better and happier life for both partners.
My book, Upside of Divorce (its short name) can be seen at Self-Help-Products-and-Services.com and on Amazon too.
Brian Daniel
Divorce mediation can play an important part in more quickly and easily negotiate the fair division of house, property and other financial assets. Arriving at other issues like custody and visitation can also be less contentious.
Pennsylvania has set a minimum of six months for most divorce petitions and this can be time well spent. Pennsylvania has seen some large reduction in divorce rates, on the order of 50%!
My book can be a help too as it can show you what common negative sides of splitting up may need to be addressed. Being divorced and having to move on past all the anger, loneliness, loss of self-esteem and so forth is significant and can take a lot of time.
The upsides of divorce and separation can be useful to see too, as I and others have done it, and made great recoveries. That is, one can find new challenges, hobbies, self-improvements and other things-to-do which can make a better and happier life for both partners.
My book, Upside of Divorce (its short name) can be seen at Self-Help-Products-and-Services.com and on Amazon too.
Brian Daniel
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Get an eBook Copy of My Book!
A NEW Positive Divorce Recovery Book for You, Your Family and Friends!
NOW AVAILABLE AS AN eBOOK!
I have placed a PayPal button on my book page at Self-Help-Products-and-Services.com
My book is all about my own personal experiences with divorce and how I was able to see the upsides in my second chance at life, which helped me to make a GREAT recovery. You can do it too! Thanks for a chance to help someone here today!
My book on divorce recovery is called "Yes, There Is an Upside of Divorce, It Can Be Your Second Chance at Life!" You can search "upside of divorce" on Amazon and read the great reviews I have there. I can offer you DOUBLE the book discount, that I have below, as affiliate sales through my own website and PayPal account for you and your friends and family members as you wish.
Email: james@self-help-products-and-services (com)
My book, …”Upside of Divorce,” has a more positive approach to divorce recovery and also goes further about how to make a happier and more enjoyable life after divorce.
Book Discounts are available on my own website, Self-Help-Products-and-Services.com, where you can save $4 to $7 off Amazon’s costs.
Thanks, Brian Daniel
NOW AVAILABLE AS AN eBOOK!
I have placed a PayPal button on my book page at Self-Help-Products-and-Services.com
My book is all about my own personal experiences with divorce and how I was able to see the upsides in my second chance at life, which helped me to make a GREAT recovery. You can do it too! Thanks for a chance to help someone here today!
My book on divorce recovery is called "Yes, There Is an Upside of Divorce, It Can Be Your Second Chance at Life!" You can search "upside of divorce" on Amazon and read the great reviews I have there. I can offer you DOUBLE the book discount, that I have below, as affiliate sales through my own website and PayPal account for you and your friends and family members as you wish.
Email: james@self-help-products-and-services (com)
My book, …”Upside of Divorce,” has a more positive approach to divorce recovery and also goes further about how to make a happier and more enjoyable life after divorce.
Book Discounts are available on my own website, Self-Help-Products-and-Services.com, where you can save $4 to $7 off Amazon’s costs.
Thanks, Brian Daniel
Monday, June 27, 2011
Just One More "Upside of Divorce" (for now...)
As I said before, there are many, many more upsides of divorce/separation than there are downsides. I've added a few here in the last few posts and they can be small and large, short and long ones too.
This one is about getting a break as a single parent when the ex-partner has them for a couple days or the weekend. I actually found many with this topic, but wanted to share this good one by Jen.
Enjoy,
Brian Daniel
The upside of divorce
Posted on November 21, 2008 by Jen
It has been brought to my attention on occasion that I am just a bit too giddy at the notion of me time, as in time away from my children. They say this, I believe, because I sometimes jump in the air and click my heels together in sort of of a leprechaun manner when their father picks them up for a weekend. Or I have been known to cackle when I know a span of time is approaching and they will all be someplace other than under my supervision. Apparently the older two take these actions personally and hold me accountable for their anguish. To this I say, “Boo effing hoo. Not true.”
If I am being honest I have to admit that the thought of not mediating between a hostile teen and a diva-ish tween is a pleasant one. As is the concept of not being Devon’s hand servant for any length of time. But as I have come to discover over the years, there is more to this mothering thing than hovering and serving. I actually like them, which I sometimes believe is more of a test than loving them. I will always love them unconditionally to the depths of my soul, but like? Different thing all together.
Another truth is that more often than not when I am away from my children I am at a loss. It is sort of like wearing a new pair of super cool pants that fit my hind region perfectly only to discover they have no front pockets, which leaves me looking like an uber ass when all I am striving for is cool chic. Because when I am without my children for any time span of more than a few hours I begin to feel itchy in the hand area, I simply haven’t the faintest idea of what to do with them. So it isn’t the reality of being child-free that pumps me up so, it is the idea of it. The thought that I could pick up and go anywhere without having to pack snacks and make sure there are a sufficient number of seat belts in the car. The concept of absolute freedom without explaining a single thing to another person. These ideas are what fire me up when I fantasize about two days without my brood. But the reality is that after about 90 minutes of just my voice in my head I start to wonder where they are and if perhaps maybe I should turn on the ringer of my cell phone just in case they need me to come to wherever they might be.
This one is about getting a break as a single parent when the ex-partner has them for a couple days or the weekend. I actually found many with this topic, but wanted to share this good one by Jen.
Enjoy,
Brian Daniel
The upside of divorce
Posted on November 21, 2008 by Jen
It has been brought to my attention on occasion that I am just a bit too giddy at the notion of me time, as in time away from my children. They say this, I believe, because I sometimes jump in the air and click my heels together in sort of of a leprechaun manner when their father picks them up for a weekend. Or I have been known to cackle when I know a span of time is approaching and they will all be someplace other than under my supervision. Apparently the older two take these actions personally and hold me accountable for their anguish. To this I say, “Boo effing hoo. Not true.”
If I am being honest I have to admit that the thought of not mediating between a hostile teen and a diva-ish tween is a pleasant one. As is the concept of not being Devon’s hand servant for any length of time. But as I have come to discover over the years, there is more to this mothering thing than hovering and serving. I actually like them, which I sometimes believe is more of a test than loving them. I will always love them unconditionally to the depths of my soul, but like? Different thing all together.
Another truth is that more often than not when I am away from my children I am at a loss. It is sort of like wearing a new pair of super cool pants that fit my hind region perfectly only to discover they have no front pockets, which leaves me looking like an uber ass when all I am striving for is cool chic. Because when I am without my children for any time span of more than a few hours I begin to feel itchy in the hand area, I simply haven’t the faintest idea of what to do with them. So it isn’t the reality of being child-free that pumps me up so, it is the idea of it. The thought that I could pick up and go anywhere without having to pack snacks and make sure there are a sufficient number of seat belts in the car. The concept of absolute freedom without explaining a single thing to another person. These ideas are what fire me up when I fantasize about two days without my brood. But the reality is that after about 90 minutes of just my voice in my head I start to wonder where they are and if perhaps maybe I should turn on the ringer of my cell phone just in case they need me to come to wherever they might be.
Friday, June 24, 2011
And.....Another "Upside of Divorce"......
There are many, many upsides of divorce and there may be too many to try and publish here?
I'll continue to copy some of the very best ones I find and will be sure to not add ones similar to those presented previously, OK?
Brian Daniel
The Upside of Divorce
June 24th, 2010 | by Theodore | Published in Divorce 'n' Custody
Divorce is no fun. It is no fun on levels of not being fun that I never realized existed. It is as far from fun as anything can get without having a cavity filled at the same time. It is short-term no fun, long-term no fun. It is deeply expensive, requires lawyers, involves judges, and just plain sucks.
But not all the time.
One of the nice things about being on my own with JP is that I’m on my own with JP. I don’t have to run my decisions by anyone (when I’m with him). I get to decide what we’re going to do and when, what he’s going to eat, how he’s going to dress, when he’s going to sleep. I get to answer the endless “why” questions that dominate most of JP’s thought processes these days. (Why are doing that? Because. Why because? Because because… etc.)
Today I’m taking JP to the park to play with a friend. I think we may have pizza for lunch, but there’s a fair chance I’ll change my mind. Who knows what else we’ll get up to. No offense to my married friends, but how many of you—particularly the men—get to choose much of anything? Not that there aren’t advantages to having to compromise with another person. There are lots. But occasionally it’s nice just to keep your own counsel and feel like you’re the one providing what your child needs. Big responsibility, yes, but big reward, too.
I'll continue to copy some of the very best ones I find and will be sure to not add ones similar to those presented previously, OK?
Brian Daniel
The Upside of Divorce
June 24th, 2010 | by Theodore | Published in Divorce 'n' Custody
Divorce is no fun. It is no fun on levels of not being fun that I never realized existed. It is as far from fun as anything can get without having a cavity filled at the same time. It is short-term no fun, long-term no fun. It is deeply expensive, requires lawyers, involves judges, and just plain sucks.
But not all the time.
One of the nice things about being on my own with JP is that I’m on my own with JP. I don’t have to run my decisions by anyone (when I’m with him). I get to decide what we’re going to do and when, what he’s going to eat, how he’s going to dress, when he’s going to sleep. I get to answer the endless “why” questions that dominate most of JP’s thought processes these days. (Why are doing that? Because. Why because? Because because… etc.)
Today I’m taking JP to the park to play with a friend. I think we may have pizza for lunch, but there’s a fair chance I’ll change my mind. Who knows what else we’ll get up to. No offense to my married friends, but how many of you—particularly the men—get to choose much of anything? Not that there aren’t advantages to having to compromise with another person. There are lots. But occasionally it’s nice just to keep your own counsel and feel like you’re the one providing what your child needs. Big responsibility, yes, but big reward, too.
Thursday, June 23, 2011
More Upsides of Divorce for the Children
In my book, "Upside of Divorce" (short name), I discuss how you should never put your children (or friends and other family) in the middle of your divorce arguments, one upmanship, etc.
I also believe that my boys matured a little faster than they might have otherwise and that was a good thing. This is not too say that my boys had no problems. One did suffer some emotional problems and he did need help from a therapist.
These were my experiences.
Below you can read other Upsides of Divorce for children observed by Psychology Today.
Brian Daniel
The Upside of Divorce
Refutes the contention that it is difficult and harmful for kids to grow with a single mother raising them. Information on the interview conducted by Joyce Arditti of Virginia Polytechnic Institute, on young adults raised by their mothers; Description of the parent-child relationships of persons raised by single mothers; Uniqueness of the relationship.
By Holly Parker, published on September 01, 1999
PARENTING
Single moms often depend on daughters for the support that Dad would normally have provided. But is it harmful for kids to mother their own mothers?
Not very, says Joyce Arditti, Ph.D., of the Virginia Polytechnic institute. In fact, it can be beneficial.
Arditti's interviews with 58 young adults raised by their mothers after a divorce indicated that their relationships are based in friendship, not hierarchy. When mothers leaned on their kids, children reported feeling a closeness and equality with them. Daughters, especially, were most likely to describe Mom as a "best friend."
These parent-child relationships are different, but not always more difficult, than traditional ones, says Arditti, who adds: "Using your child as a confidante is not necessarily wrong. And It actually may set up opportunities for children to talk to mothers."
The Upside of Divorce
Some children of divorce learn from their parents' mistakes.
By David Mahl, published on March 01, 2000 - last reviewed on July 27, 2007
No doubt about it—divorce can be devastating for kids, setting a distorted example of a healthy partnership. But many children of divorce not only adjust well to family breakups, they develop thriving relationships in their wake.
I interviewed 28 college students to see how their parents' divorces influenced their romantic lives, and found they were equally split into three groups: "Modelers" tended to copy the dysfunctional behaviors they witnessed in their parents' marriage, causing conflict in their own relationships. "Strugglers" were cautious about trusting others and unsure of what to expect from a partner. But another class of students, the "reconcilers," actively strove to learn from their parents' problems and thus had more successful subsequent relationships.
The group students fell into depended on the type of connection they had with their parents, post-divorce. Modelers related fairly well to their parents, but had limited insight into the problems their parents endured. Strugglers grew distant from their parents after the split, receiving little emotional support and ambiguous messages from them; consequently, they became unsure of what behaviors to emulate in their own love lives. Reconcilers, however, remained close to their parents, who were also more likely to go on to happy remarriages. This positive example made reconcilers optimistic about their love lives and helped them learn to relate to romantic partners.
Divorce can strengthen kids' ability to sustain successful relationships, but only if their parents stay supportive throughout the ordeal—and afterward. Parents should explain their marital dilemmas to their children to alert them to problems they might otherwise duplicate. In the end, good communication can prevent romantic history from repeating itself.
I also believe that my boys matured a little faster than they might have otherwise and that was a good thing. This is not too say that my boys had no problems. One did suffer some emotional problems and he did need help from a therapist.
These were my experiences.
Below you can read other Upsides of Divorce for children observed by Psychology Today.
Brian Daniel
The Upside of Divorce
Refutes the contention that it is difficult and harmful for kids to grow with a single mother raising them. Information on the interview conducted by Joyce Arditti of Virginia Polytechnic Institute, on young adults raised by their mothers; Description of the parent-child relationships of persons raised by single mothers; Uniqueness of the relationship.
By Holly Parker, published on September 01, 1999
PARENTING
Single moms often depend on daughters for the support that Dad would normally have provided. But is it harmful for kids to mother their own mothers?
Not very, says Joyce Arditti, Ph.D., of the Virginia Polytechnic institute. In fact, it can be beneficial.
Arditti's interviews with 58 young adults raised by their mothers after a divorce indicated that their relationships are based in friendship, not hierarchy. When mothers leaned on their kids, children reported feeling a closeness and equality with them. Daughters, especially, were most likely to describe Mom as a "best friend."
These parent-child relationships are different, but not always more difficult, than traditional ones, says Arditti, who adds: "Using your child as a confidante is not necessarily wrong. And It actually may set up opportunities for children to talk to mothers."
The Upside of Divorce
Some children of divorce learn from their parents' mistakes.
By David Mahl, published on March 01, 2000 - last reviewed on July 27, 2007
No doubt about it—divorce can be devastating for kids, setting a distorted example of a healthy partnership. But many children of divorce not only adjust well to family breakups, they develop thriving relationships in their wake.
I interviewed 28 college students to see how their parents' divorces influenced their romantic lives, and found they were equally split into three groups: "Modelers" tended to copy the dysfunctional behaviors they witnessed in their parents' marriage, causing conflict in their own relationships. "Strugglers" were cautious about trusting others and unsure of what to expect from a partner. But another class of students, the "reconcilers," actively strove to learn from their parents' problems and thus had more successful subsequent relationships.
The group students fell into depended on the type of connection they had with their parents, post-divorce. Modelers related fairly well to their parents, but had limited insight into the problems their parents endured. Strugglers grew distant from their parents after the split, receiving little emotional support and ambiguous messages from them; consequently, they became unsure of what behaviors to emulate in their own love lives. Reconcilers, however, remained close to their parents, who were also more likely to go on to happy remarriages. This positive example made reconcilers optimistic about their love lives and helped them learn to relate to romantic partners.
Divorce can strengthen kids' ability to sustain successful relationships, but only if their parents stay supportive throughout the ordeal—and afterward. Parents should explain their marital dilemmas to their children to alert them to problems they might otherwise duplicate. In the end, good communication can prevent romantic history from repeating itself.
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Another "Upside of Divorce" Perspective!
Here's another upside of divorce that someone else can see. This one underscores my title's specific upside, that is, how divorce gives one a second chance at life!
Hope you enjoy this one! Brian Daniel
The Upside of Divorce
November 15, 2008 10:57 am by Helga Hayse in Love & Sex
The end of marriage can be the beginning of friendship.
When my first husband and I divorced, we realized we were two perfectly fine individuals who just couldn’t make it together. He was a good man; I was a good woman. We had grown apart over the years and no longer shared the same values, interests or desires.
No one was to blame. There was no need to cast each other in the role of villain. Neither of us victimized the other. We shared responsibility for not trying harder to keep our marriage intact. Unfortunately, we caused our children pain by divorcing but we didn’t know how to avoid that.
A few years after our divorce, my ex met a woman who was perfect for him. They are still married today after 25 years. She was wonderful to our girls, and to me. I liked her and included her in family events. I remarried too. My second husband liked that we all got along. His ex-wife didn’t think that was all right, so she wasn’t part of our life.
My ex and his wife remain an integral part of our small family. I love them both. It took a while for their friends to understand how exes could remain so close. Why not? We’re all enriched by enjoying the best of each other.
When a marriage doesn’t work out, it’s easier to blame than to accept responsibility. Imperfect people with unmet needs marry each other and expect that their mate will make them happy. I used to believe that too. So maybe the question to ask after divorce is “How did I grow from this experience and what have I learned about myself?”
Divorce doesn’t have to be a battleground. You just have to change your frame of reference.
What do you think?
Hope you enjoy this one! Brian Daniel
The Upside of Divorce
November 15, 2008 10:57 am by Helga Hayse in Love & Sex
The end of marriage can be the beginning of friendship.
When my first husband and I divorced, we realized we were two perfectly fine individuals who just couldn’t make it together. He was a good man; I was a good woman. We had grown apart over the years and no longer shared the same values, interests or desires.
No one was to blame. There was no need to cast each other in the role of villain. Neither of us victimized the other. We shared responsibility for not trying harder to keep our marriage intact. Unfortunately, we caused our children pain by divorcing but we didn’t know how to avoid that.
A few years after our divorce, my ex met a woman who was perfect for him. They are still married today after 25 years. She was wonderful to our girls, and to me. I liked her and included her in family events. I remarried too. My second husband liked that we all got along. His ex-wife didn’t think that was all right, so she wasn’t part of our life.
My ex and his wife remain an integral part of our small family. I love them both. It took a while for their friends to understand how exes could remain so close. Why not? We’re all enriched by enjoying the best of each other.
When a marriage doesn’t work out, it’s easier to blame than to accept responsibility. Imperfect people with unmet needs marry each other and expect that their mate will make them happy. I used to believe that too. So maybe the question to ask after divorce is “How did I grow from this experience and what have I learned about myself?”
Divorce doesn’t have to be a battleground. You just have to change your frame of reference.
What do you think?
Monday, June 20, 2011
The Unexpected Upside of Divorce
This blog below was written in 2009 by Marjie Killeen on her website called "Forty Fabulous".....
I have written many blogs about how there are many more upsides to divorce or separation to many book buyers and unbelievers too.
Read below how someone else can see the upsides. Brian Daniel
The Unexpected Upside of Divorce
Divorce isn't easy for either party, but it's especially painful for the spouse who's left behind. As Armando said, "It takes two to get married, but only one to get a divorce." However, as the dust of their marriages settles, both Armando and Lance have begun to feel that they've grown from the experience.
Armando feels his divorce "has been an awakening. I have a stronger sense of character since going through the crisis."
Lance agrees. "Divorce in a weird way has made me feel that I have a more valuable life perspective to share with my kids," he said. "I've been through something. If you asked me - when did you feel like you were a grown man? I'd say just this year."
Although both men opposed divorce and fought to keep their families together, they now see that they weren't getting what they needed from their marriages either.
One of Lance's oldest friends told him "You dodged a bullet. You don't want to grow old with a woman who was gonna treat you like shit and doesn't like you."
Lance feels he deserves to be treated better - to be appreciated - and in his current relationship, he is. Armando has also done a lot of thinking about what he wants from his next girlfriend.
"Relationship problems stem from yourself," he said. "You need to love yourself in a healthy way. Be connected, but not dependent. Leave some space." Armando jokes about looking for some T&A, but says the most important quality he's really seeking is trust.
"Once it's been violated, it takes work to get it back."
Since they've split from their wives, Vince, Armando and Marlon have discovered there are parts of living alone they really enjoy - especially the lack of conflict.
"I feel more peaceful, not stressed out, " said Marlon. "I enjoy my freedom and I can make decisions for myself without having to compromise all the time."
Of course, being single again brings newfound drama, and that has its upside too.
As Vince put it, "It makes you feel alive."
I have written many blogs about how there are many more upsides to divorce or separation to many book buyers and unbelievers too.
Read below how someone else can see the upsides. Brian Daniel
The Unexpected Upside of Divorce
Divorce isn't easy for either party, but it's especially painful for the spouse who's left behind. As Armando said, "It takes two to get married, but only one to get a divorce." However, as the dust of their marriages settles, both Armando and Lance have begun to feel that they've grown from the experience.
Armando feels his divorce "has been an awakening. I have a stronger sense of character since going through the crisis."
Lance agrees. "Divorce in a weird way has made me feel that I have a more valuable life perspective to share with my kids," he said. "I've been through something. If you asked me - when did you feel like you were a grown man? I'd say just this year."
Although both men opposed divorce and fought to keep their families together, they now see that they weren't getting what they needed from their marriages either.
One of Lance's oldest friends told him "You dodged a bullet. You don't want to grow old with a woman who was gonna treat you like shit and doesn't like you."
Lance feels he deserves to be treated better - to be appreciated - and in his current relationship, he is. Armando has also done a lot of thinking about what he wants from his next girlfriend.
"Relationship problems stem from yourself," he said. "You need to love yourself in a healthy way. Be connected, but not dependent. Leave some space." Armando jokes about looking for some T&A, but says the most important quality he's really seeking is trust.
"Once it's been violated, it takes work to get it back."
Since they've split from their wives, Vince, Armando and Marlon have discovered there are parts of living alone they really enjoy - especially the lack of conflict.
"I feel more peaceful, not stressed out, " said Marlon. "I enjoy my freedom and I can make decisions for myself without having to compromise all the time."
Of course, being single again brings newfound drama, and that has its upside too.
As Vince put it, "It makes you feel alive."
Friday, June 17, 2011
It Takes About Two Years for Most Ex-Partners to Move On
That's what I write about in my book.
And with some positive attitude, and some self-improvement things-to-do that will increase your self-esteem, you too can make a move on to a better and more enjoyable life after divorce or separation.
Here's another person who has spent the two years and is finding her better life after her divorce. Read this note I found today on a website...
Re: 2 years & still some agony.. normal?
I am outgoing, positive, confident & have good self-esteem everywhere else in my life but I've always been a different person around him, more reserved while he was the "voice" that others heard. I always tried to communicate my opinions & feelings but now I see both outwardly & subtly, he had a lot of control. I spent a lot of energy trying to make him happy & he downplayed who I was. He liked it that way.
You're right tho - without him, people have said I have my sparkle & perkiness back. On the one hand, not knowing him anymore after 17 years seems odd but on the other hand, he has treated me poorly so no loss.
Other than that, I'll do it.
And with some positive attitude, and some self-improvement things-to-do that will increase your self-esteem, you too can make a move on to a better and more enjoyable life after divorce or separation.
Here's another person who has spent the two years and is finding her better life after her divorce. Read this note I found today on a website...
Re: 2 years & still some agony.. normal?
I am outgoing, positive, confident & have good self-esteem everywhere else in my life but I've always been a different person around him, more reserved while he was the "voice" that others heard. I always tried to communicate my opinions & feelings but now I see both outwardly & subtly, he had a lot of control. I spent a lot of energy trying to make him happy & he downplayed who I was. He liked it that way.
You're right tho - without him, people have said I have my sparkle & perkiness back. On the one hand, not knowing him anymore after 17 years seems odd but on the other hand, he has treated me poorly so no loss.
Other than that, I'll do it.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Another GOOD Book Review!
This complimentary book review comes from Bob.
Here's what he had to say:
I finished reading your book early in March and thought it was a very good read, especially from a man’s perspective. I have read other books on the subject but were mostly from the woman’s side. I could easily relate to you since I too was married for 23 years when she said she no longer loved me.
A topic I would like to discuss is Chapter 12: Will you marry or just be friends?
Now in your book you said you were divorced 5 years - that was back in 2007? By now, in 2011, it’s been 9 years since your divorce? Have you found your soul mate and long time partner yet? And how did you find her? Did you get re -married in the end? Or not to avoid another divorce.
(Note from me: We did discuss these topics above in a couple of emails.
A lot of my book buyers contact me to discuss various chapters and topics of my book.)
Again Brian, your book is great and glad I bought it. I will have to read it a second time soon.
Best regards and thanks for the follow up.
Bob
Here's what he had to say:
I finished reading your book early in March and thought it was a very good read, especially from a man’s perspective. I have read other books on the subject but were mostly from the woman’s side. I could easily relate to you since I too was married for 23 years when she said she no longer loved me.
A topic I would like to discuss is Chapter 12: Will you marry or just be friends?
Now in your book you said you were divorced 5 years - that was back in 2007? By now, in 2011, it’s been 9 years since your divorce? Have you found your soul mate and long time partner yet? And how did you find her? Did you get re -married in the end? Or not to avoid another divorce.
(Note from me: We did discuss these topics above in a couple of emails.
A lot of my book buyers contact me to discuss various chapters and topics of my book.)
Again Brian, your book is great and glad I bought it. I will have to read it a second time soon.
Best regards and thanks for the follow up.
Bob
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Memorial Day Thoughts
Here on Memorial Day weekend I think about all the divorces/separations that occur with military partners and the trouble they suffer too.
I have been on many military websites and have offered my help and have hoped that I have helped some to do better.
I am emailing government agencies, this weekend, that may be key stakeholders and decisionmakers in how I may help many others in an efficient and effective manner.
I want to close by saying THANKS to all of those for serving our country and all of us. Thank You!
Brian Daniel
I have been on many military websites and have offered my help and have hoped that I have helped some to do better.
I am emailing government agencies, this weekend, that may be key stakeholders and decisionmakers in how I may help many others in an efficient and effective manner.
I want to close by saying THANKS to all of those for serving our country and all of us. Thank You!
Brian Daniel
Sunday, May 8, 2011
More GOOD Feedback!
I received some good feedback on my book from Divorce Professionals, mediators, financial analysts and other coaches for those in divorce and separation.
They all agree that support for these persons, that need to get going again in their "new" life, is part of all the good help they need to move on.
This was my intent in writing my book and I'm glad that it is helpful to others.
See Amazon's Books and search for "upside of divorce".
Brian Daniel
They all agree that support for these persons, that need to get going again in their "new" life, is part of all the good help they need to move on.
This was my intent in writing my book and I'm glad that it is helpful to others.
See Amazon's Books and search for "upside of divorce".
Brian Daniel
Sunday, May 1, 2011
Many Have Written About the "Upside(s) of Divorce"
I googled "upside of divorce" and found articles by Huffington Post and Women on the Fence, to name two sources from today's search, who actually used these words in their titles!
My blog here was in the #3 spot in the first google page and I feel good about that.
My blogs about my book were in positions #4 and #5 too.
So it seems to me that the notion that there are indeed UPSIDES of divorce (and separation too) is shared not only by me but by others too!
I have run across two or more comments by those that are sure there are no upsides, but these persons always seem to be in the early stages of the separating process and are very negative (as most of us understand!, huh?)
I am glad to know this re-inforcement of the POSITIVE replies is shared by many more believers than disbelievers!
I hope that I can continue helping others for a long time.
Brian
My blog here was in the #3 spot in the first google page and I feel good about that.
My blogs about my book were in positions #4 and #5 too.
So it seems to me that the notion that there are indeed UPSIDES of divorce (and separation too) is shared not only by me but by others too!
I have run across two or more comments by those that are sure there are no upsides, but these persons always seem to be in the early stages of the separating process and are very negative (as most of us understand!, huh?)
I am glad to know this re-inforcement of the POSITIVE replies is shared by many more believers than disbelievers!
I hope that I can continue helping others for a long time.
Brian
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Good Reviews from LinkedIn Divorce Professionals
Here's some good reviews from LinkedIn Divorce Professionals, Brian.
Marketing for Divorce Professionals
Join LinkedIn for free to participate in the conversation.
A NEW Positive Divorce Recovery Book for Your Clients My book is about my experiences with divorce and how I was able to see the upsides in my second chance at life, and how I made a GREAT recovery.
Get my book on divorce recovery is called "Yes, There Is an Upside of Divorce, It Can Be Your Second Chance at Life!" You can search "upside of divorce" on Amazon and read the great reviews I have there.
Book Discounts are available on my own website, Self-Help-Products-and-Services (com) where you can save $4 to $7 off Amazon’s costs per book. Brian Daniel
Nina W. likes this
• Sounds similar to my philosophy in my Divorce Recovery sessions for www.thenewdirectionscenter.com. I use a faith based approach.
Boyd L. • Brian: Check out my new blog on Divorce Recovery Resources. As soon as I get some more traffic, I'm going to recommend your book.
Donna C. • I have read Brian's book and he does a very good job at getting readers to stop focusing on the negatives and take a positive approach to divorce. Last summer I wrote a review of his book on my Examiner page. If anyone would like to view it go to the following link: http://www.examiner.com/divorce-financial-planning-in-pittsburgh/is-there-an-upside-to-divorce
Kathy W. • Brian: I'm glad you wrote a book on divorce and your ability to have a great recovery from it. Not many men write on this topic. Congrats and I hope you can reach a lot of hurting people going through divorce.
I'd like to share one tidbit with you if I may. I just went through my second divorce in 2006. As a devout Christian I wanted to be sure I wasn't going against God's will in the Bible. I picked up a book "Divorce: God's Will?" by Stephen Gola and it totally turned my perspective around. The one Scripture that says "A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried.." The church has used this text to tell women that if they are the one initiating divorce, then they have to remain unmarried the rest of their life. Actually, the Greek word for "depart" is separation (not divorce). So the Scripture was saying, if the wife is separated, she should not remarry during that time of separation (she should be divorced before she remarries). This was so freeing to me - and to thousands of other women who have heard this Scripture in the church. I hope you'll share about this guy's book when you come across hurting Christian women who might also be misled in this area. The guy's website is www.DivorceHope.com
Brian D. • Thanks all for the kind words and warm welcomes! I am glad I joined here!
Special thanks to Donna C above!
Marketing for Divorce Professionals
Join LinkedIn for free to participate in the conversation.
A NEW Positive Divorce Recovery Book for Your Clients My book is about my experiences with divorce and how I was able to see the upsides in my second chance at life, and how I made a GREAT recovery.
Get my book on divorce recovery is called "Yes, There Is an Upside of Divorce, It Can Be Your Second Chance at Life!" You can search "upside of divorce" on Amazon and read the great reviews I have there.
Book Discounts are available on my own website, Self-Help-Products-and-Services (com) where you can save $4 to $7 off Amazon’s costs per book. Brian Daniel
Nina W. likes this
• Sounds similar to my philosophy in my Divorce Recovery sessions for www.thenewdirectionscenter.com. I use a faith based approach.
Boyd L. • Brian: Check out my new blog on Divorce Recovery Resources. As soon as I get some more traffic, I'm going to recommend your book.
Donna C. • I have read Brian's book and he does a very good job at getting readers to stop focusing on the negatives and take a positive approach to divorce. Last summer I wrote a review of his book on my Examiner page. If anyone would like to view it go to the following link: http://www.examiner.com/divorce-financial-planning-in-pittsburgh/is-there-an-upside-to-divorce
Kathy W. • Brian: I'm glad you wrote a book on divorce and your ability to have a great recovery from it. Not many men write on this topic. Congrats and I hope you can reach a lot of hurting people going through divorce.
I'd like to share one tidbit with you if I may. I just went through my second divorce in 2006. As a devout Christian I wanted to be sure I wasn't going against God's will in the Bible. I picked up a book "Divorce: God's Will?" by Stephen Gola and it totally turned my perspective around. The one Scripture that says "A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried.." The church has used this text to tell women that if they are the one initiating divorce, then they have to remain unmarried the rest of their life. Actually, the Greek word for "depart" is separation (not divorce). So the Scripture was saying, if the wife is separated, she should not remarry during that time of separation (she should be divorced before she remarries). This was so freeing to me - and to thousands of other women who have heard this Scripture in the church. I hope you'll share about this guy's book when you come across hurting Christian women who might also be misled in this area. The guy's website is www.DivorceHope.com
Brian D. • Thanks all for the kind words and warm welcomes! I am glad I joined here!
Special thanks to Donna C above!
Monday, April 11, 2011
Any Interest in Me as a Post-Divorce/Separation LIFE COACH?
I have discussed with many buyers of my book, personal problems we shared in our divorce/separation experiences.
We discussed personal problems about anger, loneliness, loss of self-esteem and so forth. And more negative issues about how to get a long with the ex, the effects on family and friends, loss of productivity at work, and at home--though for these negative issues, I quickly offer POSITIVE ways to improve!
I have received great feedback and hints that I should consider coaching others. So here I am!
I don't expect any quick "customers" but anyone interested can start by looking at my book reviews at Amazon. Search "upside of divorce" there.
Brian Daniel
We discussed personal problems about anger, loneliness, loss of self-esteem and so forth. And more negative issues about how to get a long with the ex, the effects on family and friends, loss of productivity at work, and at home--though for these negative issues, I quickly offer POSITIVE ways to improve!
I have received great feedback and hints that I should consider coaching others. So here I am!
I don't expect any quick "customers" but anyone interested can start by looking at my book reviews at Amazon. Search "upside of divorce" there.
Brian Daniel
Monday, March 21, 2011
"What Really Helps" Divorced and Separated Partners
E. Goldstein's article on the Huffington Post today about "What Really Helps" is a great one. It talks about the compassion you need to show others when listening to them and trying to help them.
My good reviews by readers of my book sense the compassion I have for wanting to help them. I tell about my "dark days" in divorce, how to deal with all the negatives and compassionately try to move them to see the UPSIDES that are there too for them.
For divorced or separated people, what really helps them are friends and family that know divorce/separation -- knowing what they are feeling and how to get them felling better is most imortant.
My book about my divorce can take them through what the next two years of moving on past divorce is all about and how to do it successfully.
If you need help or are interested in helping others in divorce or separation, see more of my book info at "upside of divorce" at Amazon or at my own website, Self-Help-Products-and-Services.
Brian Daniel
My good reviews by readers of my book sense the compassion I have for wanting to help them. I tell about my "dark days" in divorce, how to deal with all the negatives and compassionately try to move them to see the UPSIDES that are there too for them.
For divorced or separated people, what really helps them are friends and family that know divorce/separation -- knowing what they are feeling and how to get them felling better is most imortant.
My book about my divorce can take them through what the next two years of moving on past divorce is all about and how to do it successfully.
If you need help or are interested in helping others in divorce or separation, see more of my book info at "upside of divorce" at Amazon or at my own website, Self-Help-Products-and-Services.
Brian Daniel
Friday, March 4, 2011
Children Affected by Divorce
I have read many blogs and articles about children and how they may be negatively affected by a divorce.
There are many support groups for adults in divorce and almost as many nowadays for children as well.
In my own experience, my boys were 16 and 19 years of age and seemed to be OK with their Mom and Dad's troubles and didn't appear to take any one side of it either. There wasn't a lot of yelling between us at all and perhaps that made it a bit easier on them too.
I wrote in my book about how very important it is to not put your children (as well as friends and family too) in the middle of your divorce or separation and this alone will help ease their concerns or responsibilities too.
As a positive note here, I believe that our divorce actually made our boys mature a little faster than they might otherwise have done.
And that was a GOOD thing and maybe even an upside too!
Brian Daniel
There are many support groups for adults in divorce and almost as many nowadays for children as well.
In my own experience, my boys were 16 and 19 years of age and seemed to be OK with their Mom and Dad's troubles and didn't appear to take any one side of it either. There wasn't a lot of yelling between us at all and perhaps that made it a bit easier on them too.
I wrote in my book about how very important it is to not put your children (as well as friends and family too) in the middle of your divorce or separation and this alone will help ease their concerns or responsibilities too.
As a positive note here, I believe that our divorce actually made our boys mature a little faster than they might otherwise have done.
And that was a GOOD thing and maybe even an upside too!
Brian Daniel
Sunday, February 27, 2011
My Book Can Take You from Despair with Divorce to a GREAT New Life!
A reader commented yesterday about how extensive my book help was.
She commented about how much information on so many topics about divorce recovery was jammed into my text.
She was happy about the "quick relief" offered about how to move on past the downsides of divorce and then quickly get aimed at the many more UPSIDES of that same terrible change in her life.
And how even after finding the many good ways to get past her divorce (a GREAT feat in itself!), there was plenty of chapters and many more ways to find an EVEN BETTER life yet!!
She was very pleased to say that this book value was the best she had ever found.
Thank you, F.R.
Brian Daniel
She commented about how much information on so many topics about divorce recovery was jammed into my text.
She was happy about the "quick relief" offered about how to move on past the downsides of divorce and then quickly get aimed at the many more UPSIDES of that same terrible change in her life.
And how even after finding the many good ways to get past her divorce (a GREAT feat in itself!), there was plenty of chapters and many more ways to find an EVEN BETTER life yet!!
She was very pleased to say that this book value was the best she had ever found.
Thank you, F.R.
Brian Daniel
Friday, February 25, 2011
Please Buy My Book on My Website! especially if you live outside the USA!
I have watched three book sales off of my Amazon Book page this past week alone, and although I am glad for that, I am missing any feedback that these customers may have to offer.
These book sales could be going to Canada, England, New Zealand, Australia, India and other foreign countries since I email to them many times per day, and for sure, many times every week. Amazon sends book to them but limits my royalties to just USA sales.
One fellow from Australia asked me if I would indeed send it to him in the mail and of course I said yes! But I don't think he believed me.
I have mailed some books to England for possible sales and the postage is NOT a lot higher.
Book Customers can save $3 to $5 per book off Amazon's costs by going through my website, Self-Help-Products-and-Services.com
And please, do send back some feedback -- My address for email is at the back of the book on page 212.
Thanks!
Brian Daniel
These book sales could be going to Canada, England, New Zealand, Australia, India and other foreign countries since I email to them many times per day, and for sure, many times every week. Amazon sends book to them but limits my royalties to just USA sales.
One fellow from Australia asked me if I would indeed send it to him in the mail and of course I said yes! But I don't think he believed me.
I have mailed some books to England for possible sales and the postage is NOT a lot higher.
Book Customers can save $3 to $5 per book off Amazon's costs by going through my website, Self-Help-Products-and-Services.com
And please, do send back some feedback -- My address for email is at the back of the book on page 212.
Thanks!
Brian Daniel
Monday, February 21, 2011
Optimist or Pessimist? Positive or Negative Attitude? Success or Failure?
This is not a blog about right or wrong, or good or bad, or divorced or not, or separated or not. For the latter, some would say conversely, divorced or separated, or wrongly still together?
This about how you see things, changes in life, sickness or accidents, life's disappointments, or other stressful occasions? And, how you react to them.....
Internet discussions today were pretty negative. Pessimists were looking for help. Others were wondering how to become more positive. Some were searching or wishing/wanting to have success, not failures.
The negative items are hard to beat. They can linger long. The negative styles attract more negatives too! Failures seem to continue, over and over. Depression can be lingering near.
The positives are easier to deal with and can multiply quickly too. They can heap on each other, causing synergies and be contagious. Successes appear everywhere. Self actualization begins.
You can choose which one you want. No one can make you one or the other.
Which do you want to be?
My book title says it all, all upsides (with help for the negative sides too).
Brian Daniel
This about how you see things, changes in life, sickness or accidents, life's disappointments, or other stressful occasions? And, how you react to them.....
Internet discussions today were pretty negative. Pessimists were looking for help. Others were wondering how to become more positive. Some were searching or wishing/wanting to have success, not failures.
The negative items are hard to beat. They can linger long. The negative styles attract more negatives too! Failures seem to continue, over and over. Depression can be lingering near.
The positives are easier to deal with and can multiply quickly too. They can heap on each other, causing synergies and be contagious. Successes appear everywhere. Self actualization begins.
You can choose which one you want. No one can make you one or the other.
Which do you want to be?
My book title says it all, all upsides (with help for the negative sides too).
Brian Daniel
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Millions of People Every Year in Our Country Divorce and Separate
One of the most difficult downsides of divorce or separation is the alienation, loneliness, shame and feelings of failure about your break-up with a partner. Anger, resentment and hostility can also cloud your days with more negative thoughts. These can be very terrible and can easily weigh one down with depression.
One can feel so alone in this traumatic change in life.
BUT THE POINT HERE IS THAT THERE ARE MILLIONS OF OTHERS GOING THROUGH THESE SAME FEELINGS. YOU CAN FIND THESE OTHERS ON INTERNET SUPPORT GROUPS, IN LOCAL CHURCH PROGRAMS AND OTHERS AT WORK OR FRIENDS OF FRIENDS TOO.
It is important for you to see you are not alone in this, and that you may not be such a terrible partner. Every breakup has two sides of its story and quite frankly, both sides are both at fault in most cases.
I had the same feelings too. But after I realized the millions of others who have these same problems, IT HELPED ME TO COME TO GRIPS WITH MY OWN SITUATION AND RATIONALIZE WHAT I HAD LEARNED. You can do this too.
Later on, we all will see then, HOW IT IS UP TO EACH OF US TO MOVE PAST THIS AND HOW WE CHOOSE TO START A NEW LIFE. THIS IS WHERE YOU LEAVE THE OTHERS AND YOUR PAST BEHIND AND MOVE FORWARD.
My book can help you make all of these transitions easier and more quickly.
I can help you through the downsides and then how to find your UPSIDES too.
You can do this just as soon as you decide to.
Brian Daniel
One can feel so alone in this traumatic change in life.
BUT THE POINT HERE IS THAT THERE ARE MILLIONS OF OTHERS GOING THROUGH THESE SAME FEELINGS. YOU CAN FIND THESE OTHERS ON INTERNET SUPPORT GROUPS, IN LOCAL CHURCH PROGRAMS AND OTHERS AT WORK OR FRIENDS OF FRIENDS TOO.
It is important for you to see you are not alone in this, and that you may not be such a terrible partner. Every breakup has two sides of its story and quite frankly, both sides are both at fault in most cases.
I had the same feelings too. But after I realized the millions of others who have these same problems, IT HELPED ME TO COME TO GRIPS WITH MY OWN SITUATION AND RATIONALIZE WHAT I HAD LEARNED. You can do this too.
Later on, we all will see then, HOW IT IS UP TO EACH OF US TO MOVE PAST THIS AND HOW WE CHOOSE TO START A NEW LIFE. THIS IS WHERE YOU LEAVE THE OTHERS AND YOUR PAST BEHIND AND MOVE FORWARD.
My book can help you make all of these transitions easier and more quickly.
I can help you through the downsides and then how to find your UPSIDES too.
You can do this just as soon as you decide to.
Brian Daniel
Saturday, February 19, 2011
What Do You Want To Do With Your Second Chance At Life?
The UPSIDE of your separation or divorce will be that you CAN HAVE a second chance at life.
It is up to you to decide what, when and how you want to take that second chance at your rest-of-life.
Youe second chance may involve also "who" you want to be with too.
No need to hurry these decisions though. I was able quickly to get busy with some new hobbies, better health, better fitness and new friends and these took about two years. I then began to date again and work on new relationships with possible long term partners.
After about eight years after my divorce, I am still doing ALL of these above and some new ones!
I truly do have a happier and more enjoyable life and all of these things are part of that better life.
What would you like to do with your second chance at life?
Brian Daniel
It is up to you to decide what, when and how you want to take that second chance at your rest-of-life.
Youe second chance may involve also "who" you want to be with too.
No need to hurry these decisions though. I was able quickly to get busy with some new hobbies, better health, better fitness and new friends and these took about two years. I then began to date again and work on new relationships with possible long term partners.
After about eight years after my divorce, I am still doing ALL of these above and some new ones!
I truly do have a happier and more enjoyable life and all of these things are part of that better life.
What would you like to do with your second chance at life?
Brian Daniel
Friday, February 18, 2011
ANOTHER 5-Star Book Review of "Yes, There Is an Upside of Divorce"
I just got this review (below) from another person who went through a divorce and found some good help in my book. I copied it directly from my Amazon Book Page. It is dated February 17, 2011, just yesterday!
Thanks for getting my book and I am glad it helped you!
Brian Daniel
Here's the review.....
By C. Casteel -
This review is from: Yes, There Is an Upside of Divorce, It Can Be Your Second Chance at Life!: And You Can Make It a Happier and More Enjoyable Life Too! (Paperback)
The advice in this book has been indispensable in helping me move on during and after my divorce.
The author validates what I have been thinking and feeling. He gave me permission to do the things I thought were the right things to do.
I truly believe that there is a life after divorce and that it is up to us to decide what kind of life that will be.
This book tells one how to move on with ones life and to let go of the past. Great book and I highly recommend it.
Thanks for getting my book and I am glad it helped you!
Brian Daniel
Here's the review.....
By C. Casteel -
This review is from: Yes, There Is an Upside of Divorce, It Can Be Your Second Chance at Life!: And You Can Make It a Happier and More Enjoyable Life Too! (Paperback)
The advice in this book has been indispensable in helping me move on during and after my divorce.
The author validates what I have been thinking and feeling. He gave me permission to do the things I thought were the right things to do.
I truly believe that there is a life after divorce and that it is up to us to decide what kind of life that will be.
This book tells one how to move on with ones life and to let go of the past. Great book and I highly recommend it.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
My Book and Other Good Help is at Self-Help-Products-and-Services.com
You can save at least $3 to $5 off Amazon's book prices, with buying my book off my own website. I can ship your book to you within 1 or 2 business days after your PayPal receipt is received.
The other good help I offer is my Ten Best Money Ideas which have a money back guarantee, and a way to resolve a bad investment which is not suitable for you.
All of these are on my website, Self-Help-Products-and-Services.com
James@self-help-products-and-services.com can handle all orders and questions you may have.
Both my book and my money saving information can help you!
I have received only good feedback so far and no negative comments at all!
Brian Daniel
The other good help I offer is my Ten Best Money Ideas which have a money back guarantee, and a way to resolve a bad investment which is not suitable for you.
All of these are on my website, Self-Help-Products-and-Services.com
James@self-help-products-and-services.com can handle all orders and questions you may have.
Both my book and my money saving information can help you!
I have received only good feedback so far and no negative comments at all!
Brian Daniel
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
In Divorce and Separation, There Is Lonely and Alone, And a Difference!
Everyone in divorce or separation will be lonely, at some point and for some time. Some spend a lot of time being lonely.
But being alone is different. IT CAN HAVE AN UPSIDE!
When alone, you can get busy and do things for yourself, for your children, for your friends and for your community. You can clean up where you live, do some exercise, yardwork, get rid of clutter, start a new hobby and so forth.
These GOOD things-to-do will help you see that you have spent your time alone very well and your confidence and self esteem will GROW.
Being lonely is difficult and can make you negative, but being alone has its UPSIDES and can make you more POSITIVE!
There's quite a difference here, yes?
Brian Daniel
But being alone is different. IT CAN HAVE AN UPSIDE!
When alone, you can get busy and do things for yourself, for your children, for your friends and for your community. You can clean up where you live, do some exercise, yardwork, get rid of clutter, start a new hobby and so forth.
These GOOD things-to-do will help you see that you have spent your time alone very well and your confidence and self esteem will GROW.
Being lonely is difficult and can make you negative, but being alone has its UPSIDES and can make you more POSITIVE!
There's quite a difference here, yes?
Brian Daniel
Monday, February 14, 2011
My Self-Help Book CAN HELP You Make A GREAT Recovery, If You Want
This daily blog is aimed at You and Your Want to make a GREAT recovery from divorce or separation.
I would estimate that GREAT divorce/separation recovery is 35% "How To Do IT" (my book) and 65% is up to you and how much You really Want to do it.
So it is much more important that You and Your Want to make a GREAT recovery from divorce or separation is the larger and more controlling item for success. Yes?
This is a repeated remark and "bottom line" sort of statement at the end of many chapters in my book. I say many times and in many places in my book that "it is mostly up to you" to make the most of your Upside of Divorce, your Second Chance at Life, your chance to Make It a Happier and More Enjoyable Life Too!
So...like the blog title says, My Self-Help Book CAN HELP You Make A GREAT Recovery, but You HAVE TO WANT IT, mostly!
Brian Daniel
I would estimate that GREAT divorce/separation recovery is 35% "How To Do IT" (my book) and 65% is up to you and how much You really Want to do it.
So it is much more important that You and Your Want to make a GREAT recovery from divorce or separation is the larger and more controlling item for success. Yes?
This is a repeated remark and "bottom line" sort of statement at the end of many chapters in my book. I say many times and in many places in my book that "it is mostly up to you" to make the most of your Upside of Divorce, your Second Chance at Life, your chance to Make It a Happier and More Enjoyable Life Too!
So...like the blog title says, My Self-Help Book CAN HELP You Make A GREAT Recovery, but You HAVE TO WANT IT, mostly!
Brian Daniel
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Those Early On in Divorce or Separation Can Be Desperate for Help
I was emailing a young mother who has just separated and will be divorcing her husband of ten years or so. I try and help these people a bit only because they need real assurance that all is not lost forever. I remember the deperate hours and days in those first weeks and months.
She felt very alone, was depressed and was desperate about what will happen to her and her three yound children. She has some family and friends to support her now which is good.
She, like me, is searching for some hope that things will work out while suffering with all the negative issues which are there early on.
I quickly tried to assure her that she is not alone and many of us can help with books, articles, email chat forums and so on. These will help her see that millions of people have these same problems that she does.
I pointed her to the positive ways that she can can handle the negative issues and how to get a new routine going day to day.
It will be up to her to decide what upsides she can find and use later on in her move on past divorce. I am hopeful that she will make it through divorce.
Brian Daniel
She felt very alone, was depressed and was desperate about what will happen to her and her three yound children. She has some family and friends to support her now which is good.
She, like me, is searching for some hope that things will work out while suffering with all the negative issues which are there early on.
I quickly tried to assure her that she is not alone and many of us can help with books, articles, email chat forums and so on. These will help her see that millions of people have these same problems that she does.
I pointed her to the positive ways that she can can handle the negative issues and how to get a new routine going day to day.
It will be up to her to decide what upsides she can find and use later on in her move on past divorce. I am hopeful that she will make it through divorce.
Brian Daniel
Saturday, February 12, 2011
You Can Have a Second Chance at Life Without Divorce or Separation!
My first book review, which was added to my book itself, addressed how my book's positive help could be used by everyone, not just those who had suffered a negative life change, like divorce or separation.
This first book review is from GiGi Konwin from Self Help Products Review on July 22, 2008.
"Here's a positive approach to a very difficult time. Although the book is about divorce, it could easily be applied to any negative life circumstance. Grieving is a natural part of any life loss, however I've seen people that never fully recover even years after their divorce or loss. Brian was able to have a positive attitude quickly and you can too! Full of useful advice and practical examples, this book should be more about living ANY life in a positive way. Don't wait for a negative event to put his ideas to use!"
I certainly agree!
Brian Daniel
This first book review is from GiGi Konwin from Self Help Products Review on July 22, 2008.
"Here's a positive approach to a very difficult time. Although the book is about divorce, it could easily be applied to any negative life circumstance. Grieving is a natural part of any life loss, however I've seen people that never fully recover even years after their divorce or loss. Brian was able to have a positive attitude quickly and you can too! Full of useful advice and practical examples, this book should be more about living ANY life in a positive way. Don't wait for a negative event to put his ideas to use!"
I certainly agree!
Brian Daniel
Friday, February 11, 2011
Churches Have a Problem With...... "Yes, There Is an Upside of Divorce"
I haven't received much interest in my book from Churches of any and all denominations. And, I wasn't sure why that was the case.
When trying to arrange a divorce recovery workshop some time ago, I got two quick refusals from two local churches who had available meeting rooms.
When I asked them both why they were not willing to allow me to use thir meeting room for divorce recovery discussions, they both replied that they felt my book's title and my discussions were to entice couples to divorce.
Of course, I said that was not at all my intent or message, but they said they simply could not allow anyone to think that, intentionally or not!
I have in my book a recommendation to try and reconcile at least once and at all costs, because I believe not separating and not divorcing is best!
BUT FOR ALL THOSE COUPLES THAT DID END UP IN DIVORCE OR SEPARATION, I BELIEVE TAKING A POSITIVE APPROACH TO AN ALREADY "DONE DEAL" IS THE BEST WAY TO MORE SUCCESSFULLY AND QUICKLY RECOVER.
Perhaps, a better title (albeit an even longer title) would be --
"Well, If You Already Have Divorced, Yes, There Is an Upside of Divorce and It Can Be Your Second Chance at Life! and You Can Make It a Happier and More Enjoyable Life Too, But Don't Ever Tell Your Church Minister That!"
Brian Daniel
When trying to arrange a divorce recovery workshop some time ago, I got two quick refusals from two local churches who had available meeting rooms.
When I asked them both why they were not willing to allow me to use thir meeting room for divorce recovery discussions, they both replied that they felt my book's title and my discussions were to entice couples to divorce.
Of course, I said that was not at all my intent or message, but they said they simply could not allow anyone to think that, intentionally or not!
I have in my book a recommendation to try and reconcile at least once and at all costs, because I believe not separating and not divorcing is best!
BUT FOR ALL THOSE COUPLES THAT DID END UP IN DIVORCE OR SEPARATION, I BELIEVE TAKING A POSITIVE APPROACH TO AN ALREADY "DONE DEAL" IS THE BEST WAY TO MORE SUCCESSFULLY AND QUICKLY RECOVER.
Perhaps, a better title (albeit an even longer title) would be --
"Well, If You Already Have Divorced, Yes, There Is an Upside of Divorce and It Can Be Your Second Chance at Life! and You Can Make It a Happier and More Enjoyable Life Too, But Don't Ever Tell Your Church Minister That!"
Brian Daniel
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Yes, There Is an Upside of Divorce, It Can Be Your Second Chance at Life!
Is this title contrary?
Some people have responded "there are NO upsides of divorce!"
In my case with divorce and with many other people too, divorce or separation is terrible, agonizing, devestating and can be debilitating!
But after some time of grieving, wondering who, what, when, where and how it happened, one has a choice to make. And a few questions will likely pop up for one to answer....here's those questions.....
OK, so now, what?
Do I want to continue to stew in the anger, resentment, depression and feelings of being a failure?
Can I possibly reconcile with my partner?
(If it is possible, you can try and come back here later, if not!)
Is there something else I want to try and do?
THIS IS WHERE ONE GETS TO DECIDE WHAT ONE WANTS TO DO AFTER DIVORCE OR SEPARATION.
One can continue to feel left behind, feel sorry for what happened and feel there is no hope and continue to see that "there are NO upsides of divorce!"
Or, ONE CAN TAKE THE POSITIVE ROUTE, LIKE I DID, AND DISCOVER ALL ABOUT HOW ONE CAN USE THIS SECOND CHANCE AT LIFE AND BUILD A HAPPIER AND MORE ENJOYABLE LIFE...
It is your choice.
Brian Daniel
Some people have responded "there are NO upsides of divorce!"
In my case with divorce and with many other people too, divorce or separation is terrible, agonizing, devestating and can be debilitating!
But after some time of grieving, wondering who, what, when, where and how it happened, one has a choice to make. And a few questions will likely pop up for one to answer....here's those questions.....
OK, so now, what?
Do I want to continue to stew in the anger, resentment, depression and feelings of being a failure?
Can I possibly reconcile with my partner?
(If it is possible, you can try and come back here later, if not!)
Is there something else I want to try and do?
THIS IS WHERE ONE GETS TO DECIDE WHAT ONE WANTS TO DO AFTER DIVORCE OR SEPARATION.
One can continue to feel left behind, feel sorry for what happened and feel there is no hope and continue to see that "there are NO upsides of divorce!"
Or, ONE CAN TAKE THE POSITIVE ROUTE, LIKE I DID, AND DISCOVER ALL ABOUT HOW ONE CAN USE THIS SECOND CHANCE AT LIFE AND BUILD A HAPPIER AND MORE ENJOYABLE LIFE...
It is your choice.
Brian Daniel
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Once Your Divorce Legal and Money Issues Are Done, Get Help For YOU!
It can take months and sometimes years for your legal and money issues to be decided and settled. You need to spend a lot of your focus and time and energy to complete these things.
Once those things are final, you then need to get some GOOD help for your personal issues with divorce or separation, which may just be starting or still need to be resolved.
My book helps you to get your personal feelings, desires, goals, new relationships and new things-to-do organized and started. You may or may not be past the negative issues of separation, bad feelings, loneliness and so on, and/or may simply need help to get going again.
Once past these more immediate issues of day-to-day living, you can then move on to the many more positive sides of your divorce or separation. My book can help you to see and find your upsides and begin to enjoy them!
Once you indeed see your change in life as a second chance at life, you can be enabled to truly make a happier and more enjoyable life than the one you have just left.
I did it and you can too!
Brian Daniel
Once those things are final, you then need to get some GOOD help for your personal issues with divorce or separation, which may just be starting or still need to be resolved.
My book helps you to get your personal feelings, desires, goals, new relationships and new things-to-do organized and started. You may or may not be past the negative issues of separation, bad feelings, loneliness and so on, and/or may simply need help to get going again.
Once past these more immediate issues of day-to-day living, you can then move on to the many more positive sides of your divorce or separation. My book can help you to see and find your upsides and begin to enjoy them!
Once you indeed see your change in life as a second chance at life, you can be enabled to truly make a happier and more enjoyable life than the one you have just left.
I did it and you can too!
Brian Daniel
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Those Who CAN Respond Positively to an Unwanted Divorce or Separation
There are many people who can really make the best of negative events in their life. They have the where-with-all to SEE the positive sides of even devestating life changes like divorce or separation.
They embrace and learn to live with things that have happened to them, not wasting time saying "Woe is me!" but thinking and looking about for opportunities these unwanted changes can bring to them.
Most successful people in the world haven't had better luck in their lives. They have simply dealt better with the bad times that they had to endure.
Those things and times they have failed at, but learned how to do better, will enable them to BE much better for it.
Try looking for,seeing and using the upsides of your divorce or separation. You will likely have a happier and more enjoyable rest-of-life!
Brian Daniel
They embrace and learn to live with things that have happened to them, not wasting time saying "Woe is me!" but thinking and looking about for opportunities these unwanted changes can bring to them.
Most successful people in the world haven't had better luck in their lives. They have simply dealt better with the bad times that they had to endure.
Those things and times they have failed at, but learned how to do better, will enable them to BE much better for it.
Try looking for,seeing and using the upsides of your divorce or separation. You will likely have a happier and more enjoyable rest-of-life!
Brian Daniel
Monday, February 7, 2011
Seeing the Upside in Divorce/Separation Can Help Your Job / Company Too!
Business in the USA is booming again!
Are you doing your best in your job or small business?
The negative issues of divorce or separation can also affect your job performance at work, just as they can in your personal life at home.
Very similar to your being affected by an accident/injury or sickness, your negative emotions in divorce/separation can cause you to miss work and lose attention and productivity at your workplace too.
However if you can maintain a positive attitude in your personal life and get past the negative issues at home and begin seeing the upsides of your rest-of-life yet to live, you will also return to your best performances again at your job or business too.
This is obviously very important to continue good work at your job or workplace and NOT have any added troubles with your employer or your small business. You need to keep money coming in and to keep your job as well.
I know this too as I did suffer some attention and loss of focus on performances at work. These lasted several months but returned to pre-divorce times as soon as I began seeing the upsides of my divorce.
Brian Daniel
Are you doing your best in your job or small business?
The negative issues of divorce or separation can also affect your job performance at work, just as they can in your personal life at home.
Very similar to your being affected by an accident/injury or sickness, your negative emotions in divorce/separation can cause you to miss work and lose attention and productivity at your workplace too.
However if you can maintain a positive attitude in your personal life and get past the negative issues at home and begin seeing the upsides of your rest-of-life yet to live, you will also return to your best performances again at your job or business too.
This is obviously very important to continue good work at your job or workplace and NOT have any added troubles with your employer or your small business. You need to keep money coming in and to keep your job as well.
I know this too as I did suffer some attention and loss of focus on performances at work. These lasted several months but returned to pre-divorce times as soon as I began seeing the upsides of my divorce.
Brian Daniel
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Getting Started With Your New Life After Separation or Divorce
The negative issues with divorce or separation can weigh you down every day.
The loneliness, the anger, the feelings of being a failure, low self esteem, and depression can work together to keep you down and can be hard to overcome.
Distractions like having news shows on while you are alone or listening to your favorite music, especially upbeat music, can help you to get moving again.
Once moving, you can then spend your time cleaning, exercising, finding and starting a new hobby and so on. These can help pass some time and fill many hours of your day while you are alone. These activities will be good uses of your time and you will feel better about yourself and have more confidence that you can live again after your separation or divorce.
Days and weeks of this discipline to keep moving and to stay busy doing things will lead to more satisfaction and even more self esteem for you.
Try this if you are having trouble getting started on some of those down days.
These things-to-do helped me to get past the negative sides of my divorce and got me moving on to even more and larger things-to-do which can be the upsides of divorce or separation.
I hope this may help someone to get started today.
Brian Daniel
The loneliness, the anger, the feelings of being a failure, low self esteem, and depression can work together to keep you down and can be hard to overcome.
Distractions like having news shows on while you are alone or listening to your favorite music, especially upbeat music, can help you to get moving again.
Once moving, you can then spend your time cleaning, exercising, finding and starting a new hobby and so on. These can help pass some time and fill many hours of your day while you are alone. These activities will be good uses of your time and you will feel better about yourself and have more confidence that you can live again after your separation or divorce.
Days and weeks of this discipline to keep moving and to stay busy doing things will lead to more satisfaction and even more self esteem for you.
Try this if you are having trouble getting started on some of those down days.
These things-to-do helped me to get past the negative sides of my divorce and got me moving on to even more and larger things-to-do which can be the upsides of divorce or separation.
I hope this may help someone to get started today.
Brian Daniel
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Divorce/Separation AND Self Published Books do have Handicaps!
In your divorce or separation, do you feel you have "handicaps" that work against you? Self Published authors have handicaps too!
Like most new authors, I wanted my book to be published, but got back forty two rejection letters from forty two publishers. These are similar, and less devestating of course, than the constant repeating problems you may find in divorce or separation.
But I didn't give up. My Book was finally self published with BookSurge, a division of Amazon. I learned about self help books and did the text and page layouts by myself and my son did the front and back covers for my low budget self publishing.
Bookstores, I also found, did not want self published books. So, there was no chance for me to get a selling spot in my hometown Borders and Barnes&Noble as a local author. That was another handicap, but I did some personal selling in a grocery store, put some books in small local stores and learned to sell on Craigslist to increase my sales.
BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT MY SELF PUBLISHED BOOK IS NOT POOR QUALITY!
I HAVE RECEIVED ONLY GOOD REVIEWS SO FAR WITH NOT ONE BAD REVIEW EVER!
Additionally, I have traced my selling against another new author with a similar title who was published, and with a newer book than mine. However, I was very satisfied to find that I sold many more books in my first year on Amazon and that I continue to sell twice as many books as the new competitor there too.
I appreciate all of my buyers who may or may not know I am self published and am happy and proud to provide them with a VERY GOOD product!
So, you see handicaps in book publishing can be overcomed!
So too can you overcome the many "handicaps" you find in your divorce or separation. Don't get disappointed; with a positive attitude you can do better.
My book can help you to overcome those handicaps of your divorce or separation and will also show you the many postive ways to live a happier and more enjoyable life.
Brian Daniel
Like most new authors, I wanted my book to be published, but got back forty two rejection letters from forty two publishers. These are similar, and less devestating of course, than the constant repeating problems you may find in divorce or separation.
But I didn't give up. My Book was finally self published with BookSurge, a division of Amazon. I learned about self help books and did the text and page layouts by myself and my son did the front and back covers for my low budget self publishing.
Bookstores, I also found, did not want self published books. So, there was no chance for me to get a selling spot in my hometown Borders and Barnes&Noble as a local author. That was another handicap, but I did some personal selling in a grocery store, put some books in small local stores and learned to sell on Craigslist to increase my sales.
BUT YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT MY SELF PUBLISHED BOOK IS NOT POOR QUALITY!
I HAVE RECEIVED ONLY GOOD REVIEWS SO FAR WITH NOT ONE BAD REVIEW EVER!
Additionally, I have traced my selling against another new author with a similar title who was published, and with a newer book than mine. However, I was very satisfied to find that I sold many more books in my first year on Amazon and that I continue to sell twice as many books as the new competitor there too.
I appreciate all of my buyers who may or may not know I am self published and am happy and proud to provide them with a VERY GOOD product!
So, you see handicaps in book publishing can be overcomed!
So too can you overcome the many "handicaps" you find in your divorce or separation. Don't get disappointed; with a positive attitude you can do better.
My book can help you to overcome those handicaps of your divorce or separation and will also show you the many postive ways to live a happier and more enjoyable life.
Brian Daniel
Friday, February 4, 2011
Some DO NOT BELIEVE There is an Upside of Divorce or Separation!
Divorce or separation can harden one's heart and one can seem angry about everything. When first confronted with this horrible change in life, all the negative issues make it very difficult to see anything positive!
Churches see the title of my book and are afraid it will lead others to want to divorce or separate! They do not want to mislead others in marriages that are in trouble to jump ship!
But when one faces the reality of divorce and separation and comes to grips with its inability to be changed with reconcillation, one simply has a choice to make. Accept those negative changes as best one can and then decide how you want to live the rest of your life.
If you want to have a happier and more enjoyable life, get my book and see how I was able to do it.
With a positive attitude for yourself and your future, you can do it too!
Churches see the title of my book and are afraid it will lead others to want to divorce or separate! They do not want to mislead others in marriages that are in trouble to jump ship!
But when one faces the reality of divorce and separation and comes to grips with its inability to be changed with reconcillation, one simply has a choice to make. Accept those negative changes as best one can and then decide how you want to live the rest of your life.
If you want to have a happier and more enjoyable life, get my book and see how I was able to do it.
With a positive attitude for yourself and your future, you can do it too!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Divorce or Separation Can Provide You with a Second Chance at Life!
Your second chance at life can be a new job, new friends, a new partner to live your rest-of-life, new surroundings, new opportunities for being a better person, getting into better health and fitness, improving your attitude, seeing the positive sides of everyday life, enjoying every hour of every day, finding and making a happier and more enjoyable life than the one you may be in now!
Take your second chance at life, and embrace those new routines, try new things you always wanted to try to do. LIVE your new life with this second chance at life that was brought to you by that traumatic change in life that you have just suffered with.
Bad endings can lead to GOOD beginnings!
Brian Daniel
Take your second chance at life, and embrace those new routines, try new things you always wanted to try to do. LIVE your new life with this second chance at life that was brought to you by that traumatic change in life that you have just suffered with.
Bad endings can lead to GOOD beginnings!
Brian Daniel
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Yes, Divorce or Separation is horrible, But You Can Make Your Life Better!
Many folks get so far down about their divorce or separation, that they have a difficult time getting out or above of all the negative stuff. Anger, guilt, resentment, sorrow and loneliness can be a very heavy weight on your spirit.
You should take time to vent, talk through and grieve about all of this, and then forgive yourself about what you may have done wrong.
Then realize that what you can change is YOUR life, YOURSELF, YOUR future relationships and YOUR next things to do. And that you do get a second chance to have a better, happier and more enjoyable rest-of-life.
It is not this simple and each of these stages of recovery can take months and years, but YOU CAN MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER!
My book is about how you can move on with all these stages in your divorce or separation, just like I did!
You can do it too!
Brian Daniel
You should take time to vent, talk through and grieve about all of this, and then forgive yourself about what you may have done wrong.
Then realize that what you can change is YOUR life, YOURSELF, YOUR future relationships and YOUR next things to do. And that you do get a second chance to have a better, happier and more enjoyable rest-of-life.
It is not this simple and each of these stages of recovery can take months and years, but YOU CAN MAKE YOUR LIFE BETTER!
My book is about how you can move on with all these stages in your divorce or separation, just like I did!
You can do it too!
Brian Daniel
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Uncovering The Positive Side Of Divorce
Shelley Stile sees the positive opportunities in divorce too! It is always good to see someone else who sees the same benefits of using a positive attitude in this traumatic change in life that millions suffer each year in our country. See Shelley's insights about "Uncovering the Positive Side of Divorce" below. I have a WHOLE BOOK about this! Brian Daniel
Finding thе positive side οf divorce іѕ nοt always simple, especially whеn уου feel lіkе уου′ve bееn rυn over bу a Mack truck. Bυt thе truth іѕ, divorce gives υѕ thе opportunity tο ѕtаrt over again more intelligently. Plus, whеn уου look fοr thе positive іn a situation, іt’s a lot simpler tο accept whаt life hands уου.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yου Cаn’t Always gеt Whаt Yου Want
bυt Yου Gеt Whаt Yου Need
Thе Rolling Pebbles wеrе іn fact very smart. Thеу wеrе dead-οn whеn thеу sang thаt уου саn’t always gеt whаt уου want bυt уου gеt whаt уου need… thаt іѕ іf уου аrе paying concentration tο whаt іѕ being offered. Whеn wе wish, pray οr hope fοr something, whаt wе іn fact mіght bе gifted wіth іѕ thе situation іn whісh tο manifest thаt gift.
All tοο οftеn, wе don’t recognize thе opportunities іn life. Wе see obstacles instead οf openings. Divorce іѕ a perfect example οf hidden opportunities. At first wе саnnοt see thе forest through thе trees. Wе аrе іn pain аnd ουr perspective οr outlook іѕ very restricted. Wе don’t realize thаt ουr divorce hаѕ many gifts οr opportunities fοr growth. Thеу аrе hidden frοm view bυt thе challenges thаt lay before υѕ аrе іn fact chances tο become thе person wе wеrе always meant tο bе.
Take Alice. Hеr marriage wаѕ nοt a рlеаѕеd one bυt ѕhе ignored аll thе signs bу thе side οf thе way. Shе dіd nοt want tο hаνе tο confront whаt wаѕ happening: ѕhе wаѕ іn denial. Shе hаd always allowed hеr husband a fаntаѕtіс amount οf freedom bесаυѕе ѕhе found іt hard tο stand up fοr herself. Shе lacked self-esteem аnd ѕhе brought thіѕ tο hеr marriage.
Whеn hеr marriage fell apart, ѕhе wаѕ devastated аnd claimed ѕhе сουld nοt know whаt hаd happened. Wіth working together, ѕhе wаѕ аblе tο face thе fact thаt ѕhе hаd bееn аn enabler οf hеr husband’s behavior. Bу nοt standing up fοr herself, ѕhе gave hіm a conservational light tο dο whatever hе wanted. In addition, bу refusing tο confront thе reality οf hеr marriage, ѕhе failed tο dο take thе de rigueur actions thаt mіght hаνе changed thе situation fοr thе better. Seeing thе truth ѕhе now сhοѕе tο take responsibility fοr herself аnd hеr life.
Alice сhοѕе tο υѕе hеr divorce аѕ a catalyst fοr thе changes thаt wουld give hеr thе life ѕhе wanted аnd deserved. Shе сhοѕе tο see thаt hеr divorce wаѕ thе perfect opportunity tο develop self-esteem, confidence аnd strength. Shе ѕtаrtеd tο see thаt perhaps, јυѕt perhaps, hеr divorce wаѕ јυѕt ѕο whаt ѕhе needed іn order tο become whаt ѕhе truly wanted. Shе hаd suffered аѕ a result οf hеr low self-esteem аnd now ѕhе found herself іn thе perfect рlасе tο cultivate thаt feature.
Whаt аrе уου seeking? Whаt dο уου need? Look around. Iѕ уουr situation rіght now a springboard towards whаt уου really want? Remember thаt уου mіght nοt gеt јυѕt ѕο whаt уου qυеѕtіοnеd οr prayed fοr bυt іf уου look hard enough, уου wіll see thаt уου mау hаνе bееn gifted wіth thе opportunity tο mаkе thе things thаt уου ѕο desire.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shelley Stile іѕ аn ACC certified Divorce Recovery Life Coach аnd author.
Finding thе positive side οf divorce іѕ nοt always simple, especially whеn уου feel lіkе уου′ve bееn rυn over bу a Mack truck. Bυt thе truth іѕ, divorce gives υѕ thе opportunity tο ѕtаrt over again more intelligently. Plus, whеn уου look fοr thе positive іn a situation, іt’s a lot simpler tο accept whаt life hands уου.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Yου Cаn’t Always gеt Whаt Yου Want
bυt Yου Gеt Whаt Yου Need
Thе Rolling Pebbles wеrе іn fact very smart. Thеу wеrе dead-οn whеn thеу sang thаt уου саn’t always gеt whаt уου want bυt уου gеt whаt уου need… thаt іѕ іf уου аrе paying concentration tο whаt іѕ being offered. Whеn wе wish, pray οr hope fοr something, whаt wе іn fact mіght bе gifted wіth іѕ thе situation іn whісh tο manifest thаt gift.
All tοο οftеn, wе don’t recognize thе opportunities іn life. Wе see obstacles instead οf openings. Divorce іѕ a perfect example οf hidden opportunities. At first wе саnnοt see thе forest through thе trees. Wе аrе іn pain аnd ουr perspective οr outlook іѕ very restricted. Wе don’t realize thаt ουr divorce hаѕ many gifts οr opportunities fοr growth. Thеу аrе hidden frοm view bυt thе challenges thаt lay before υѕ аrе іn fact chances tο become thе person wе wеrе always meant tο bе.
Take Alice. Hеr marriage wаѕ nοt a рlеаѕеd one bυt ѕhе ignored аll thе signs bу thе side οf thе way. Shе dіd nοt want tο hаνе tο confront whаt wаѕ happening: ѕhе wаѕ іn denial. Shе hаd always allowed hеr husband a fаntаѕtіс amount οf freedom bесаυѕе ѕhе found іt hard tο stand up fοr herself. Shе lacked self-esteem аnd ѕhе brought thіѕ tο hеr marriage.
Whеn hеr marriage fell apart, ѕhе wаѕ devastated аnd claimed ѕhе сουld nοt know whаt hаd happened. Wіth working together, ѕhе wаѕ аblе tο face thе fact thаt ѕhе hаd bееn аn enabler οf hеr husband’s behavior. Bу nοt standing up fοr herself, ѕhе gave hіm a conservational light tο dο whatever hе wanted. In addition, bу refusing tο confront thе reality οf hеr marriage, ѕhе failed tο dο take thе de rigueur actions thаt mіght hаνе changed thе situation fοr thе better. Seeing thе truth ѕhе now сhοѕе tο take responsibility fοr herself аnd hеr life.
Alice сhοѕе tο υѕе hеr divorce аѕ a catalyst fοr thе changes thаt wουld give hеr thе life ѕhе wanted аnd deserved. Shе сhοѕе tο see thаt hеr divorce wаѕ thе perfect opportunity tο develop self-esteem, confidence аnd strength. Shе ѕtаrtеd tο see thаt perhaps, јυѕt perhaps, hеr divorce wаѕ јυѕt ѕο whаt ѕhе needed іn order tο become whаt ѕhе truly wanted. Shе hаd suffered аѕ a result οf hеr low self-esteem аnd now ѕhе found herself іn thе perfect рlасе tο cultivate thаt feature.
Whаt аrе уου seeking? Whаt dο уου need? Look around. Iѕ уουr situation rіght now a springboard towards whаt уου really want? Remember thаt уου mіght nοt gеt јυѕt ѕο whаt уου qυеѕtіοnеd οr prayed fοr bυt іf уου look hard enough, уου wіll see thаt уου mау hаνе bееn gifted wіth thе opportunity tο mаkе thе things thаt уου ѕο desire.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shelley Stile іѕ аn ACC certified Divorce Recovery Life Coach аnd author.
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Your Becoming Your New Self is BECOMING!
Women Who Workshop
A scarf from India
A top that’s Loose around the Middle
Very, very, very Sensible Shoes
And an Unceasingly Kind expression
(The uniform of individuality).
You, the Bright-Eyed.
You, the Generous volunteer.
You, still working out That Stuff with your dad.
In hotel ballrooms and
Church basements and
Yoga studios and
Campgrounds and
Korean spas and
Montana ranches, Bahamian Beaches and the
Herbalist’s office
You are becoming.
It’s so becoming.
You, becoming.
And you’ve learned to
Bring a sweater and a
Thermos of hot water and
Lots of extra tissues.
You have stood in a circle
You have lain prostrate
Your bookshelf groans with
Helping Insightful Books and
Your Journals burst with line
After line
Documenting
Your becoming.
You’re becoming.
You are becoming.
Sensual
Intellectual
Hard-headed
Tender-hearted
(so tender-hearted)
With your Full-Moon Necklace and your
Chakra-Balancing Necklace and the
Beautiful Gold Ring that you
Hand-forged in that Post-Divorce Workshop
Out of the engagement ring from your First Marriage and the
Wedding band from your Second
Now you marry only yourself.
Standing before your Altar
You promise to
Love
Honor and
Cherish
Yourself
From this day forward.
You recognize that some might call it an
Indulgence
To spend time and money on
The Issues That Challenge You.
But those people can screw off (compassionately)
Because the Rush of
Self-realization when you finally put That Betrayal behind you
The poem you wrote about your daughter that
Still makes you cry
(And OK, fine – that delirious eight-day affair with that Yoga Guy -
Sweet Heaven he was gorgeous – and so bendy – )
Cannot be matched by anything that can be
Found inside your own condo.
You have found freedom.
You have healed your Inner Child and
Embraced your Inner Queen.
You are even developing a side-long glance
Relationship with the word “Crone.”
You are curious – becoming – laughing – becoming – stretching -
Because as the wise woman said If You Stop Stretching You Die – sharing -
Because that’s what Heaven’s Children do -
Rejoicing in your growing awareness that no Workshop Intensive
In the world is better than your own becoming
Coming to be.
© 2011 Samantha Bennett
A scarf from India
A top that’s Loose around the Middle
Very, very, very Sensible Shoes
And an Unceasingly Kind expression
(The uniform of individuality).
You, the Bright-Eyed.
You, the Generous volunteer.
You, still working out That Stuff with your dad.
In hotel ballrooms and
Church basements and
Yoga studios and
Campgrounds and
Korean spas and
Montana ranches, Bahamian Beaches and the
Herbalist’s office
You are becoming.
It’s so becoming.
You, becoming.
And you’ve learned to
Bring a sweater and a
Thermos of hot water and
Lots of extra tissues.
You have stood in a circle
You have lain prostrate
Your bookshelf groans with
Helping Insightful Books and
Your Journals burst with line
After line
Documenting
Your becoming.
You’re becoming.
You are becoming.
Sensual
Intellectual
Hard-headed
Tender-hearted
(so tender-hearted)
With your Full-Moon Necklace and your
Chakra-Balancing Necklace and the
Beautiful Gold Ring that you
Hand-forged in that Post-Divorce Workshop
Out of the engagement ring from your First Marriage and the
Wedding band from your Second
Now you marry only yourself.
Standing before your Altar
You promise to
Love
Honor and
Cherish
Yourself
From this day forward.
You recognize that some might call it an
Indulgence
To spend time and money on
The Issues That Challenge You.
But those people can screw off (compassionately)
Because the Rush of
Self-realization when you finally put That Betrayal behind you
The poem you wrote about your daughter that
Still makes you cry
(And OK, fine – that delirious eight-day affair with that Yoga Guy -
Sweet Heaven he was gorgeous – and so bendy – )
Cannot be matched by anything that can be
Found inside your own condo.
You have found freedom.
You have healed your Inner Child and
Embraced your Inner Queen.
You are even developing a side-long glance
Relationship with the word “Crone.”
You are curious – becoming – laughing – becoming – stretching -
Because as the wise woman said If You Stop Stretching You Die – sharing -
Because that’s what Heaven’s Children do -
Rejoicing in your growing awareness that no Workshop Intensive
In the world is better than your own becoming
Coming to be.
© 2011 Samantha Bennett
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