Marriages come & go, Divorce is forever? NO, It is not!

A certain divorce blogger uses a title like the one above, and I believe they have it backwards.

Most marriages last a long time while divorce can be quickly had and done.

Yes, there can be long lasting effects, alimony payments, re-financing, months and years of sorrow, negative emotions, being lonely, and so forth but these, most often are shorter than the marriages, I believe.

There are some that believe that your time to move-on past divorce is 1 year for every 4 years of marriage. For me, my marriage lasted 24 years, and it should have taken 6 years for me to move-on, using this "rule of thumb" above.

But actually, my time in the divorce process and when I began to smile again was as little as 12 weeks. Six weeks or so into this time, I was checking details with a lawyer about financial stuff and he remarked that I seemed to be much better and happy compared to others at this time in divorce.

I told him that I realized that at fifty years old, I was pretty healthy, had my own house and half of the money/personal property, did not have any heart attack or depression, and was looking forward to all the new things-to-do that I was planning for after my divorce (we completed a dissolution in just 12 weeks).

Maybe I am just a rare case.

Believe me, I did have some dark desperate hours in divorce.

But when I thought about the Serenity Prayer and was reminded of changing what you can and letting go what you can't change, I took only a positive attitude from then on.

I never looked back much, and if I did, it was no more than just a few minutes at a time.



I don't believe divorce is forever. It certainly doesn't have to be. It wasn't for me.

Brian Daniel