Friday, December 21, 2012

Holidays Can Be Difficult When Divorced

I know those difficult times and feelings around the holidays when divorced.

Although it was years ago for me, I know still how difficult and long those days can be, especially if you have to spend some time alone.

Well, these difficult times can be lessened with a couple simple plans.

1) Call and see if friends and relatives are OK with your stopping over for an hour or so. They will understand and usually will be happy to see you. By all means, GO!

Perhaps friends or relatives have already asked you over--that's great! By all means, GO!

2) If calling doesn't fit right for you, or if you have been asked to come over and don't feel ready, that's OK. You can miss a holiday or two - I did. But get up and gets some exercise, clean out a closet, do some cleaning, cooking, organizing bills, receipts, get taxes ready? Do something to pass the time and you will fill good about the time well spent.

3) Call friends and family just to wish them happy Holidays and just see what they are doing. Ten minutes of talk will keep you engaged with others and call a few friends or family members, they will spend some time asking about how you are doing. Let them know and  keep things positive, so the talking feels good for both of you.

4) Think about some self improvements that you may want to work on for the next year. Getting a second job, doing some community service, improving your health and fitness, etc. Reading about some of those things will gobble up some hours easily.

You will be just fine with doing only one or two of these plans for the holidays. Try keeping busy as much as you can and the time will pass quickly.

Happy Holidays and Happy Future Times Ahead!

Brian Daniel

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Guest Article for the Upside of Divorce, by Sara

   November 12, 2012 · NEW HORIZONS - Guest Post:   "The Upside of Divorce" by Sara


Although you may feel like burnt trash after a divorce is finalized there is light at the end of the tunnel. You may feel like you’ve lost your soul, but then again, you could also breathe a sigh of relief. Regardless of the reasons behind your divorce, here are some good things you gain from the experience.



Flirting - Some people are just naturally flirtatious regardless but feel they cannot flirt while they are in a relationship. After the divorce, there is no guilt about shamelessly flirting with your bank teller. Flirting is fun.



My Way – While you were married there were probably behaviors and hobbies that you had to give up in order to make your spouse happy. Now you are single you can take up those hobbies again or find new ones.



Meal Times – No more compromising on menus for the household. There is a good chance that you and your spouse didn’t see eye-to-eye on some types of food. Now, you are able to enjoy whatever foods you like without argument.



Decor – While many couples are in unison when it comes to home decor, many are not. You may compromise your artistic abilities in order to make someone else happy, even though you’re not. Living alone allows you to express yourself without arguments about colors, patterns or styles.



Friends – A common complaint about being a couple is the lack of being around the friends they had prior to a relationship. It’s not often that your spouse will enjoy the company of your friends as much as you do. Now you are divorced you can enjoy your friendships that you felt you had to quell.



Dating Again – There are few experiences in life that can match up to the exhilaration of a new relationship or meeting for the first time. Entering the dating scene provides the opportunity to experience new love all over again.



Responsibility – Outside of a divorce that involved children, being single again allows you to focus on yourself. The only one you need to be responsible for is yourself. This feeling can be very liberating.



In today’s world, divorce is quite common. As long as both parties gave it all they could the experience isn’t actually wasted. Like all mistakes in your life, this could be viewed as one that could help make you aware of your own faults in order to excel at your next relationship.



Author Bio: Sara is an active nanny as well as an active freelance writer. She is a frequent contributor of http://www.nannypro.com/.



Monday, November 5, 2012

Dawn's Show Has Many Divorce Support Stories!

Dawn's Radio shows has a good divorce support story each week to help those, especially new in divorce, to get real help and support on a number of divorce topics.

BY HEARING MANY OF THESE WEEKLY STORIES, ONE CAN SEE SIMILARITIES IN ONE'S OWN DIVORCE WHICH CAN HELP ONE MOVE ON MORE QUICKLY WITH THE CAUSES, AGREEMENTS/DISAGREEMENTS, CHILDREN ITEMS, WHO LEFT AND WHO WAS LEFT BEHIND, AND SO FORTH.

Knowing others have had similar or same experiences as your own helps a lot in sizing up what is next for you, how to cope, and how to find yourself and other friends, supporters, dating partners and maybe another significant other!

My story was questioned to find what key items were used to help move through divorce and more importantly to a "new" after divorce. Points of interest and positive items in my divorce are explained below.



This week on Chapter 2 – Real Divorce Stories, Real Divorce Support – Brian Daniel shares his surprising divorce story and more


After 24 years of marriage how do you handle the surprise of being asked for a divorce?



How can you see the upside to divorce without seeming uncaring?



Brian has written a book about his personal experiences with divorce and how he was able to see the upsides in his second chance at life, which in turn helped to make a GREAT recovery. Brian believes you can do it too!



Brian's book "Yes, There Is an Upside of Divorce, It Can Be Your Second Chance at Life!" can be found on Amazon by searching "upside of divorce". He also has some wonderful reviews of the book on Amazon as well.



Radio Show divorceasacatalyst.com

The show airs live every Friday at 10:00 am (EST) and can be accessed live here After each show airs, you will be able to access each episode below. My mission for the show is to support others going through a divorce or separation


Sunday, October 28, 2012

My Radio Show Inteview with Dawn Sinnott


My interview was about my own divorce experience and how what I went through may be helpful to others.

Dawn had asked what single word would describe my divorce and my answer was "Surprise!"

I was surprised as soon as I got back to my home, after my father's funeral in another state and some days there settling my Mom's financial matters.

I tried for a couple weeks to get us to counseling but we never got to try it. Her mind was made up.

So we hired an attorney to help us dissolve our marriage and near the end, I found out "our" attorney was just her's and not mine (she was supposed to tell me, but didn't--another Surprise!)
So, I had to check some legal/financial stuff with some other lawyers quickly.

We talked about how we would handle custody with the boys and I sided with my two sons' wishes.

We then discussed about the Serenity prayer and how it helps someone immersed in CHANGES!

And, we listed all the POSITIVE opportunities that this traumatic change can bring.

We then offered the specific positive sides of divorce that me, Dawn and others have found in divorce or separation.
Details are in the interview which lasted about 30 minutes.

See   Dawn at http://divorceasacatalyst.com/ and   http://mydivorcejournal.wordpress.com/

My interview with Dawn was aired on October 26th at 10am to 1030 am and should be available at the link below. Dawn's contacts are listed beow as well.

phone: (516) 825-0084


fax: (877) 208-5198

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/dawnsinnott

Brian Daniel

Sunday, October 14, 2012

The Many, Many More Upsides of Divorce

My previous blog about how the family support expo was the upside of divorce to all those who would attend points to the many positive aspects of help that is available for those suffering in divorce.

The expo ad had several books to read about emotional, financial, relationship help and more, for those who want to read.

There were various personal coaches to help directly with an individual's difficulties and issues.

(I did not promote my book and nor offer personal coaching at this expo.)


But the main point here is that there are many, many ways to get help in divorce. Each of these can be an upside in your divorce.

There hundreds of divorce books, each dealing with an issue or two.

There are internet chat rooms, help centers, and discussion groups--hundreds perhaps?--to find your similar issues/help.

There are divorce professional Linked In groups, full of attorneys, mediators, financial analysts, coaches, etc.

There are of course, several dating services too.

All of these can help with the many different issues each one in divorce may have. One can  buy a few books, join some church /other support groups, hire a coach or two and perhaps check their credentials and experience on Linked In or though personal referrals from firends. Most people have or will use dating services at some point.

In my book, I tried to help others in divorce to deal with negative issues, depression, loss of self esteem, how to deal with all the lonely hours--issues that are very common in divorce. My own experiences  hope to find the common ground/issues for most readers.

My book goes on then, to the many, many more positive opportunities that divorce brings as well. These items are the bulk of my book and the REAL upside  of divorce--how others can find a happier and more enjoyable life after divorce.

I hope that all those suffering in divorce look into the many resources of help that are available.

Brian Daniel

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Family Support Expo Offers the Upside to Divorce

The Family Support Expo Offers the Upside to Divorce


By admin .On this episode of The Smart Divorce with Deborah Moskovitch, our guest Stephen Rosenfield http://familysupportexpo.com and http://rosenfieldmediation.com is paying it forward. Stephen is using his work as a Mediator and making a difference – with his mediation practice and the launch of The Family Support Expo in Toronto, Canada on October 20/21, 2012.





Stephen Rosenfield

Whether it is a medical health issue, a mental health issue or a transitional issue, these considerations are often stigmatized within society. We have learned to hide our problems to avoid rejection and ridicule. But concealing our problems only makes them worse. Nobody is perfect, and everyone experiences challenges from time to time. You may not be struggling with one of these issues, but you definitely know someone who is.



I copied this from a Divorce Source Radio ad for this Expo. I liked the "Upside of Divorce" part of the title!
Unexpectedly, I had to look close to see anything obviously "positive" or that can be an upside of divorce.
Perhaps the the upside is only that 40% to 50% of divorced couples are just like you.

My divorce recovery book, "Upside of Divorce", is packed full of positives, opportunities and many, many upsides of divorce.

But, check the ad info below and see what you think!!

Brian Daniel



Family Support Expo Offers the Upside to Divorce

If you’re going through a separation or divorce, you are not alone. 40% – 50% (statistics vary depending on where you live) of couples are just like you. Separation and divorce could be the largest or second largest expense in your lifetime. Parents rarely do well if their children struggle, and children rarely do well if their parents struggle. There are many new considerations and circumstances and we appreciate that you need resolution on all fronts.



Topics in this program include:



• The benefits of The Family Support Expo – the exhibitors, speakers, giveaways and more.

• The $24,000 dilemma.

• Considerations to developing a parenting plan when your child has ADHD, special needs or mental health issues.

• How depression and mental health affects the family dynamic.

• Elder-care and divorce.

• Helping the world to be a better place.

• How your mediation impacts future generations.

• Going forward fairly in mediation.



Tuesday, October 9, 2012

The UPSIDE of Anger in Divorce?

My previous blog about the upside of fear in divorce made the point that fear can help one to do something about that fear.

Any move to action can be beneficial. Getting oneself up and moving to do that something is helpful.

In my divorce, anger was strong and present a lot of the time just after divorce. And I did begin to do many things to more fruitfully pass that time.

There was a movie too about the "Upside of Anger" and the upside was that moving on, dealing with the anger and getting past it can be a natural and good thing.

For me. there was more of the anger and less of the fear. The anger was more of a force to do different things, many things to keep busy in positive ways.

I think both fear and anger can be helpful in ther changes one has to make in and after divorce.

Brian Daniel

Sunday, October 7, 2012

The UPSIDE of Fear?

I read another divorce blogger's article with this title above.

All partners in divorce have fears. They may be different ones, but fear itself is present at least a little in everyones' divorce.

The point of this topic is that fear can be debilitating. The fear may be about being alone, concerned about support and financial future, loss of friends and so forth.

In the end, the blogger's claim is that FEAR provides an eventual realization that the reasons for fear have to be dealt with. And, this is the UPSIDE.

The UPSIDE is the push the fear presents. Needing to make new friends, doing something to improve your financial condition, fighting lonely situations with getting up and doing something instead can all be upsides from fear.

I have in my book dealt similarly with the negative sides of divorce and the OPPORTUNITES that can help get one busy with their new life.

The UPSIDES for all of us who will face their fears and start doing something about those fears is the key element here.

Fear can be an UPSIDE.

Brian Daniel

Monday, September 10, 2012

Getting Married Again? Yes?, No?, Maybe?

Here's a topic with varied opinions.

I have met divorced ladies who have been married two more times after their first divorce in just a couple or three years.

I dated one of these ladies for about seven months which was longer than her third husband. I didn't feel too bad about that after we broke up.

I find a lot of companionship with single ladies and have year long relationships or more. (Sorry, I don't have much experience about men who have been married again, or not--men don't talk about this stuff!)

But I believe age has an effect, more about it when younger than older, and grown up children too as to whether marriage is wanted, needed or not.

 Younger ladies with young children can find another partner with some kids too and they can share the total work together. Is this a marriage of convenience?

Older ex-partners with kids out of the home may not want to marry but live together (or not).

Marriage does bring some entanglements when the two partners split. Having been through one divorce, I am not anxious to be "bound together" and suffer the consequences of another break-up.

Brian Daniel

Friday, September 7, 2012

Joining Another Blog On Divorce!

No, I am NOT leaving my own blog! I have been asked to blog on certain topics after divorce from a new blogger.

I will point you to that "Guest Blog" when I get the details.

I was asked to discuss whatever topics I may have experience or expertise about. I sent them eight topics and they liked the following three:

        "Internet Dating" ..........."is a topic we (they) haven't covered too much and would be great."


         "Getting over the downsides of divorce" .............."is a good one for us as well."

         "New things to do" ................"as well."

It was interesting to me that these three topics above were selected by the blogger requesting  topics and they have a magazine all about divorce. 

These blogs are some of the best blogs I have written, have received the most favorable replies and ones that my book readers "liked the best".

I will look forward to this invitation.

Brian Daniel

Wednesday, September 5, 2012

On the Radio on October 26th!

I will be on at 10am (EST, I think!) for an half hour and will supply the details later on in October.

This radio show is all about how ex-partners can positively move on past divorce.

There will be several guests and on all Fridays at 10 am and I'll blog here as soon as possible when it starts.

These shows may start as soon as this Friday. I believe the radio show will be weekly and all the way through November.

Like most shows, I will be calling in and then connected to the show.

Generally, these shows have an internet connection too and the audio will play through your PC speakers.

I will try to get the internet connection for all the weeks before my spot.

I will request the connection from the show host.

I might have these connections tomorrow!

Brian Daniel

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Buy My Divorce Recovery Book On My Website!

This way, you get the same book from Amazon for about $5 less!

I have cut my website price for my book to $13.50 and the handling fees are smaller than Amazon's.

I will mail your book to you within 24 hours after your PayPal notice comes to my website.

You will see near the end of my book that I have my email address available for your feedback.

Let me know, GOOD or BAD, about how my book was in helping your friends, family or yourself, OK?

Thanks for your book purchase, through my website or from Amazon.

Brian Daniel

Monday, September 3, 2012

My "Upside of Divorce" Book is a Coaching Plan!

When I wrote my divorce recovery book, I wanted it be a real self help book about how to make the most of one's second chance at life after divorce.

The book starts with how to deal with the common "downsides" of divorce which are mostly emotional and interpersonal in nature. These are the most common for all divorced/separated partners.

The turning point occurs with understanding that it is best to change what you can control. And that is changing yourself and all the things that revolve around yourself.

You will then find all the many more upsides of having that second chance to find a happier more enjoyable life than the previous one you just left.

And the various chapters in my book go into great enough detail to show you HOW to make these changes for yourself and your NEW  better life after divorce.
This is how my book "coaches" one through moving on positively past divorce/separation.

I have talked to several readers of my book about their own specific longer term issues and our discussions over the internet were good and produced good results for my readers.

Coaching anyone who is interested can contact me at       tibodad@yahoo.com    or
james@self-help-products-and-services.com

On my website there are many products and services that I offer than can be specific to your own particular problems that still linger on for you.

I can coach anyone on a variety of personal topics, in addition to those that others have commonly purchased from my website.

Brian Daniel

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Longevity Depends on Marital Status?

I saw another blog today that had data revealing that never marrieds had a 60% higher incidence of earlier death, widows and widowers had a 30% chance and divorced partners had a 40% chance of shorter life than married couples.

Have you seen any of those studies?  Do you believe them?

I would believe that these averages may be true generally, but that there is more to it than just your marital status. Things like diet, use of medications, fitness, outlook on life, times spent with family and friends, hobbies, regular exercise, community service and so many other social interactions, health, genes, and so on may have the greatest impact.

Is it really just marital status?  I don't think so!

I could believe that if only marital status is studied and no other factors are studied, never marrieds may have more exposure to being alone more often which can be less fulfilling and maybe be worse off?, widows and widowers may spend time together more and counter the loneliness and maybe least affected?, and divorced partners, without a partner, and having some negative baggage left still to carry around may be a bit more susceptible?

In any case, I find marital status not a thing to worry about. Too many things can be used to increase one's longevity.

I'm doing several of the good things that can help increase length of living.

And I'm focusing on each and every day to live its fullness. When I do go, I want to be tired, not bored.

Brian Daniel

Friday, August 31, 2012

http://www.Self-Help-Products-and-Services.com

My divorce recovery book, "Upside of Divorce", for short, is a "self-help" book. The helpful information can allow other divorced partners to see the upsides of divorce and how to find a happier and more enjoyable life after divorce, just like I did.

My book covers personal self-help about changing yourself, not others.
Getting rid of anger, not putting friends and family in the middle of your divorce, learning all the good ways to move on with your new life are chapters to help you move positively past divorce.

There are many other chapters about internet dating, better health and fitness and exploring many other positive things-to-do.

Learning how to be happier and enjoying every day in your life are other "self-help" chapters in my book.

You just need to want to do these things. When you are  ready, you will do them.




My website above has also self-help information about :
       Money Saving Ideas
       Tips to Play Better Golf
       How to Get Back Money from a Bad Investment
       How to Use R&D Tax Credits
       Getting Coaching for Personal Improvement

You may find some of these other self-help products interesting and valuable too.

Brian Daniel




Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Getting Past the Downsides of Divorce is Key!

My great divorce recovery occurred because I quickly saw the downsides were keeping me down about my divorce.

Downsides of less money, too much lonely time, not seeing the kids or old friends, not knowing what to do next...sound familiar?

These downsides can keep you down too! Loss of self esteem and depression can be a quick realities.

For me, the Serenity Prayer's wisdom was a focus point. You can't change others, but you can change you and your options.

Knowing that you DO have the rest of your life and that you can DO whatever you want is a helpful positive side, yes? Start with that. Look at your possible opportunities in the future, maybe more good things to try?

Next thing you know, you are busy thinking about the many more GOOD things that may be ahead for you.

You will then start to see the REAL possible upsides of your divorce. You are going past the downsides now, it is more fun thinking about the upsides!

The front part of my book is about all of this. You can DO this!

Brian Daniel

What QUESTIONS Might You Have For Me?

I have the google numbers on how many times my blog has been seen (and hopefully read!)

I may have lots of readers who come and go?
Or maybe just a handfull that stop by and read most of these blogs?

Well, I like to fish and I hope I have thrown a line in out there to see if someone will answer this blog and even better, may have a question for me to answer?

My email is handled by          James@self-help-products-and-services.com

I wouldn't put anyone's question on my blog - only if someone said it was OK for me to do so.

Brian Daniel

Thursday, August 23, 2012

My UPSIDES of Divorce?

After nine and a half years past my divorce settlement, it may be interesting for you to hear what MY Upsides of divorce are......

Better Health and Fitness -
I have lost 25 to 30 lbs, lost 2 inches off my waist, dropped my blood pressue 10 points on average, and my Body Mass Index is 22.9, well within the normal range now after being obese or slightly obese.
I'm still doing 100 pushups, 100 pullups, and 200 front kicks (kick-boxing) every day. I also do run-walks at 12 minute mile rate  and do other aerobic exercise about 3 times a week.

Still Dating Too -
I have had monogamous relationships with eight different women over these past years and my latest one has been the longest one too. I still felt the infatuation with each lady too, just like a teenager and have had no regrets with any of them.

Got a Hobby Second Job -
I have spent almost nine years now working part-time at a golf country club where I could earn some more money and play at golf for almost nothing. I have met many new friends and some business contacts too.

Doing NEW things -
Learning woodworking and making garage storage cabinets and then a winemaking room as well as a wine cellar.
Making and bottling my own wine using six different dry reds. I make 200 bottles or so and then take a couple or three years to consume it all.

Trying an Internet Business -
After writing and self publishing my divorce recovery book, I made and designed my own website, pay center, and doing my own Small Business taxes.

Doing Community Service -
I have been planting trees, helping with the restoration of public parks and propagating and supplying perennial grasses, flowers and shrubs for all the ten or twelve Habitat Houses in my hometown. I think I have been doing the Habitat Houses for seven years now.

LIVING EVERY DAY -
This upside of divorce for me was very important, enough to use all cap letters because it is part of all the upsides above and how well and how happy and satisfied I have become with my second chance at life.

You can do these things too.

Brian Daniel

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

More Positive Directions One Can Take After Divorce

My book is all about the positive opportunities one can take after divorce. Others ex-partners point to their upsides of divorce in many different ways.

I saw another one on twitter the other day that had a bit more colorful language. It was a pair of ladies whose twitter address has to do with "DUMPED".

Their intro line of what they were about was short and sweet.......

                                   Get Off Your "Butt" and Over Your Ex in Record Time!

My book aims for divorced partners to quickly get busy and change what you can about yourself  to be a better person. This focus can indeed help you to quickly move on and get over your ex.

I myself had decided in just several weeks to start a new life and get busy about all the new things-to-do that I wanted to do.

I was able quickly to feel less dumped in my previous life and more liberated to explore my new life!

You can too!

Brian Daniel

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Another Radio Interview Coming Up

I have had the pleasure to discuss my book on radio shows in the past.

I may have another chance in the next month or two with a radioshow that is for Divorced Partners and how they can move on positively with their new life.

My book is all about that transition from anger/low self esteem/guilt/loneliness  to  a happier, more enjoyable life AFTER divorce!

I have always been able to get more immediate book sales soon after a radio show!

I will keep you posted about this.

Brian Daniel

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Sold Another Book Yesterday!

It always makes me proud that new readers still buy my book!

It has been almost four years since I started selling them.

But my title and my stories on my author's page are still interesting to others who may be suffering a divorce.

My book is more often picked than one written by a divorce proessional, but much less than other "better" sellers. Having a publisher can be a large edge in selling books.

But I am satisfied and continue to encouraged by each and every book sale I get.

Thanks to my latest reader!

PS: ...my last chapter offers email feedback to all who buy my book....

Brian Daniel

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Moving On Positively Past Divorce/Separation

When I was divorcing, I went to bookstores to look for something "POSITIVE" about divorce.

There was not much positive about divorcing, some ten years ago when I was in divorce.

It took me about six years to finish my positive divorce book and even in 2008, publishers, churches and friends, shook their heads and said there is nothing positive about divorce!

Since my book was out, and over the last four more years, there have been several books and blogs too about the positive aspects of divorce.

You can see some of these when you search my book "Upside of Divorce" om Amazon. Blogs have used "upside of divorce" in their titles too. One lady celebrity even added a smiley face to her signiature on her divorce papers.

There are many positive books and blogs and stories about positive sides of divorce/separation. You won't need to search a lot to find something that will help you, friends or family.

Feel free to email me at tibodad@yahoo.com or on twitter @BrianDaniel12

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

My Positive Divorce Recovery Book Helped Me!

A lot of people have asked me if writing my book helped me. It did.

It helped me move on. It helped me to heal. It also helped me become more POSITIVE!

When I focused on changing only myself, not others, I looked positively on the opportunity to become a better person.

As I became more fit, more healthy, more happy, more content, more spirited, more energized---------these feelings began to grow on each other.

As I look back to my divorce and then to where I am now, years later, it is quite clear to me how much  happier and how more enjoyable my life is.

My book writing helped me, for sure!

My book writing can help you too!

Brian Daniel

Sorry, My Last Post Used apostrophes, My Bad!

I learned before not to use apostrophes. They show up with several junky letters where the apostrophe is.

So, my bad. I'm sorry about the previous blog! I think I will remember not to do this anymore.

Brian Daniel