Learning the keys to my happiness - Community editorial board --- Cornwall Standard

Another article about how a POSITIVE approaches can help you develop a POSITIVE Divorce Recovery!  

 You will find that you need to drop all negative thoughts before you can look and see the  POSITIVE and  UPSIDES for your next chapters of life!


ONE SHOULD ALWAYS TRY TO MAKE SOMETHING NEGATIVE INTO SOMETHING POSITIVE. This story turn out better than expected and may have also influenced the relationship after their divorce,



My book, mostly about the many UPSIDES of divorce, can help you to find the positive sides too that are available in and after divorce.

Search "upside of divorce" at Amazon Books and see my blogs (all of them, all 341) and see all the reviews.  Thanks for a look!


Positive changes you can make will build your self esteem, confidence and the want to do even more positives for yourself and your family.

Take a look at my book below if you are interested. My book is all about the upsides.


Brian Daniel



Divorce is Very Negative but You'll See ALL UPSIDES with Brian's Book, Yes,There Is An Upside of Divorce, It Can Be Your Second Chance at Life!

My book "Upside of Divorce" (short title) is available with a discount on my tibodad@yahoo.com email and just $13 covers the 9 inch X 6 inch plus Postage,Shipping and Handling --You can save over $6 !!

You can search it on Amazon and buy it there too.

AND, A KINDLE EDITION OF MY BOOK IS NOW AVAILABLE, for just $4.99!




Here is the article,  Brian.





How do you hang onto your happiness and joy?” my friend asked me recently.

I smiled as I thought over her question.

Happiness. It is such a simple word, but such a hard commodity to find in this world.
How many times has someone confessed to you, in a moment of naked honesty, they are just not happy with their lives? Or, who hasn’t heard of a long-term relationship breaking up because one partner or the other just was not happy?

Magazines and self-help books claim to have the answer to it. Most of us have wondered from time to time in our own lives if we are happy.
The older I get, the more I realize happiness is not always due to my external circumstances, but is more focused on my inner peace. Becoming a person marked by joy has involved concentrating on a few things in my life.

My Family.
It really is the cornerstone of who I am and my happiness. There are occasions when I have taken it for granted and not given it the time and attention it needed. The business of life and poor priorities can also pull my attention away from my family. I have had to consistently keep my focus on what truly counts.

Lee Iococca says, “The only rock that I know that stays steady, the only institution that I know works, is the family.”
They are the biggest blessings of my life.

My marriage.
I often wonder where all the years have gone. There have been some rough moments and times when we didn’t like each other very much. Times when marriage and commitment were more like choices and not so much a feeling. Yet these hard moments have been sprinkled with many happy times and milestones marking our lasting union.

In Canada, more than four in 10 first-time marriages end in divorce. A study estimated a startling number of marriages (41 per cent) will never make it to the 30-year milestone.
We have beaten the odds with our thirty-three years. I still believe in commitment, love and marriage, and the power it has to bring happiness in life.

My faith.
Everyone believes in something. My life was marked with unhappiness until I encountered a faith and belief that shattered my self-reliance and brought a lasting joy to my life. Faith has been a positive force in my life, bringing hope and peace in the most difficult of circumstances and keeping me grounded when everything around me felt like it was being shaken.

Forgiveness and reconciliation.
There is no perfect relationship. I have had to walk through relational messiness with family, friends, and even in my marriage. There have been moments in my life where I allowed disagreements, my own stubborn character and differences with others to breed misunderstanding and even separation from the people I truly cared about.

Without exception, some of the most beautiful moments in my life have been when I extended grace, love and forgiveness to others, and they extended the same to me. There is a completion and closure that happens marked by humility when you embrace the joy of moving on.

Unforgiveness and bitterness can affect a person physically, mentally and emotionally, twisting their happiness. Forgiveness brings the ultimate pay-off of restored relationship.
I had a very complicated relationship with my mother. For years it remained unresolved and felt unfinished.

I had the chance to set aside my own hurts the last few months of her life. It didn’t look like anything I expected it to. But I had the privilege to get to truly know her, and release any bitterness I had been holding. I had the honour of walking with her in the last twilight months, and I was there holding her hand when she moved into the next.

Forgiveness brought an unexpected joy and happiness as I learned to love her in an unconditional way. An imperfect process, it was still forgiveness that cleared the way for restoration, and in the end a happiness I could have never anticipated.

Lastly, I have a personal responsibility for my own happiness.
I wasted time in the past blaming people and circumstances for the way my life was turning out. My joyful attitude also involved moving on from my past. It was only when I owned my own unhappiness that real and lasting joy came into my life.

All these things flashed through my mind as I gazed at my friend. Family. Marriage. Faith. Forgiveness and Reconciliation. And lastly, personal responsibility.

Every component has made me able to focus on joy instead of pain and troubles in my life.

“Happiness is a daily choice. And anyone can make it,” I told her.
She seemed satisfied with that answer.