Saturday, April 19, 2014

10 Simple Things To Make You Happier in Life after Divorce by Joy Cipoletti, the Divorced Breadwinner Mom on April 14, 2014

  1. Exercise – 7 minutes a day might be enough. Exercise can combat depression and help all of us feel happier. And if you’re new to exercising, you’ll get the most benefits from getting started, even 5 minutes a day. Combine a brisk walk with #5 (spend time outside), and you’ve got 2 out of 10 happy actions covered. Walk with a friend or family member (#4), and you’ll add a 3rd happy action to your day without a lot of effort.
  2. Sleep more. You’ll be less sensitive to negative emotions. Getting enough sleep can be tough for busy divorced breadwinner moms, but it’s worth the effort to get the amount you need. Women need an average of 20 minutes more sleep per night than men, but the 8-hour rule is really a guideline. You might be fine with less, but if you’re chronically tired and irritable, try going to bed 30 minutes earlier one or two nights a week and see if it makes a difference. Even if it means leaving the dishes till morning!
  3. Move closer to work. A short commute is worth more than a big house. Of all the tips on the list, this is the hardest one to put into place for most moms in life after divorce. But if you have the option to shorten your commute, take it. An alternative:  work from home one or two days a week if you can.
  4. Spend time with friends and family. Don’t regret it on your deathbed. No one ever wished they had done more work on their deathbed, but many people regret not having made family more of a priority. Don’t be one of them. You likely have to work after divorce, even if you weren’t before, but keep work in balance with the rest of your life. Your kids, especially, need your presence after divorce.
  5. Go outside. Happiness is maximized at 13.9°C. (that’s 57° F). We can all get outside for 5 minutes a day (20 minutes is optimal). Being in nature is a natural stress reliever. Go barefoot if weather allows.
  6. Help others. 100 hours a year is the magical number. Enough said. Helping your kids counts, but involving them in helping others is even better.
  7. Practice smiling. It can alleviate pain. Yours and someone else’s.
  8. Plan a trip. But don’t take one. I love this one because it doesn’t cost a cent. Apparently just thinking about a favorite place or a vacation we’d like to take can lighten our moods. Added bonus:  no impact on the budget.
  9. Meditate. Rewire your brain for happiness. I’m a big fan of meditation, and this article says it is the single best thing you can do to increase your happiness. Or at least your serenity. I’ve mentioned meditation often in blog posts. Here’s one. There are a variety of resources available at not cost online or from your local library to help you get started.
  10. Practice gratitude. Increase both happiness and life satisfaction. Looking at your blessings every day helps shift your perspective, which changes your life. I write a gratitude list every night before I go to bed – at least 5 things I’m grateful for from that day. I never have trouble finding 5, and often double that number without effort.


In my book, the essence  of eight of these "things-to-do" are very similar and very helpful to make one happier in life after divorce.

Only items 3, and 8 are not similar.

Brian Daniel