How to cope with a break up: Don't make divorce a drama for children --- Native Monster

Another article about how a POSITIVE approaches can help you develop a POSITIVE Divorce Recovery!  

This article may be VERY IMPORTANT! Because you have to protect the children.



ONE SHOULD ALWAYS TRY TO MAKE SOMETHING NEGATIVE INTO SOMETHING POSITIVE. This story turn out better than expected and may have also influenced the relationship after their divorce,



My book, mostly about the many UPSIDES of divorce, can help you to find the positive sides too that are available in and after divorce.

Positive changes you can make will build your self esteem, confidence and the want to do even more positives for yourself and your family.

Take a look at my book below if you are interested. My book is all about the upsides.


Brian Daniel






My book "Upside of Divorce" (short title) is available with a discount on my Self-help website above or you can search it on Amazon and buy it there too.

AND, A KINDLE EDITION OF MY BOOK IS NOW AVAILABLE, for just $4.99!





Here is the article,  Brian.






Finding out their parents are getting a divorce can be the most devastating moment of a child’s life. It can be a lot to take in and can leave them feeling upset, confused and unsure where to turn. But as a parent, there are ways to help make the experience less painful for them.

How to cope with a break up

1. Be honest and discuss how to break the news to your children beforehand. Keep it simple, they don’t need to know all the ins and outs but they will want to know why it’s happening.

2. Present a united front – make sure you are both there to talk to them together when you first tell them what’s happening. This will help to reassure them that you are both still going to be there in the future.

3. Be patient – their sadness and shock is not going to disappear overnight, they could take some time to get their heads around what is happening. Make sure you are a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear when they want to talk.

4. Reassure them – let your children know that you love them and you will still be there to care for them as you always have. They need to know that your love for them has not changed.

5. Stick to routines – make sure they still have the same structure to their days. Knowing what to expect next will help them to feel more secure. Don’t make any drastic changes to their lives.

6. Keep it amicable – never argue in front of your children, whether it’s in person or over the phone. Make sure your children are not around if discussions are likely to turn into arguments.

7. Stay positive – although it’s hard, try to look on the bright side. Children pick up on how you’re feeling so will feel more positive if you show that you are upbeat about the future too.

8. Don’t blame each other – this will only cause confusion and cause your children to feel conflicting loyalty and feel torn between you both.

9. Set aside your anger – commit to trying to work together to parent your children after the divorce. Being friendly with each other will also help to reassure them.

10. Take care of yourself – the stronger you are, the more you can be there for your children. Talking to friends or support groups for advice can help you cope with what’s happening.

Help Me Get Interest for a US Voter Referendum to Balance Federal Budget in 5 years. Would you support it?

 I apologize to insert some "politics" here in a blog about divorce recovery.

But I also do some help about Money Saving, Investments, and Retirement Savings.

And  our US Federal Deficit is  now so large that our country's our security, money value and other monetary items are in high risk.

But a supported US Citizen National Voter Referendum Could with just a Simple Majority after Voting Would Cause the Enactment of Law of having the Balanced Federal Budget in 5 years.

A significant number of States, thirty some, are needed to pass the above vote.

And convincingly, by the way, I believe over  thirty some states already do have balanced budgets.


 Would you support this?


Money talks and a PapPal account might be used to collect just $1 per person

Thanks for a look and your consideration of this possible referendum.


Brian Daniel









See info at tibodad@yahoo.com

Struggling With Loneliness After Divorce? Here Are 4 Great Ways To Use The Gift Of Time Wisely --- patheos

Another article about how a POSITIVE approaches can help you develop a POSITIVE Divorce Recovery!  No Matter WHO You Are!!




My book, mostly about the many UPSIDES of divorce, can help you to find the positive sides too that are available in and after divorce.

Positive changes you can make will build your self esteem, confidence and the want to do even more positives for yourself and your family.

Take a look at my book below if you are interested. My book is all about the upsides.


Brian Daniel





My book "Upside of Divorce" (short title) is available with a discount on my Self-help website above or you can search it on Amazon and buy it there too.

AND, A KINDLE EDITION OF MY BOOK IS NOW AVAILABLE, for just $4.99!





Here is the article.



Loneliness is a real problem in our society according to some experts, and many divorced men and women struggle with this. Author and contributor Heather Voccola speaks from her heart and her personal experience,  offering 5 excellent ways to make positive use of your time and overcome loneliness.



Not everyone who gets divorced struggles with being lonely, but a great many Catholics do, and that loneliness compounds the pain of being divorced. In my own experience, the remedy for this is an even tougher struggle; learning how to enjoy my own company. I have to learn to be comfortable in my own skin. Getting comfortable doing things on my own is a major step, a necessary step in my healing process.


I have been thinking the last few days about the recent martyrdom of Fr. Jacques Hamel, and how in contrast to the way he lived his life, I have a tendency to focus on the empty hours that make up so much of my time as a single Catholic. We are reminded in the Gospel of Mark:

“But of that day or that hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. Take heed, watch and pray;[a] for you do not know when the time will come (Mark 13: 32-33).

So, rather than worrying about how to fill all of those empty hours, I’d like to focus on some positive things that we all should be working into our lives. Here is a list of things to do that will help us stay focused on what is really important, help us to fill up some of those empty hours and work to build our relationship with Jesus even stronger.


1.     Go to Mass

Going to mass is a great way to remind yourself that you belong to a family, your Catholic family in the Church. You are an important part of something big. Weekday masses, especially, tend to be quiet and great for reflection.

If you work a Monday-Friday work week, try to add a Saturday morning Mass to your weekly schedule. It will give you another opportunity to worship and also to make additional connections at your parish. If you work on weekends, choose a day during the week to add an additional Mass to your schedule. Try to keep the same schedule weekly so you can begin to see some of the same people

2.    Go to Eucharistic Adoration

I strongly recommend that everyone devote one hour of their week to Eucharistic Adoration. It will change your life! But beyond that – if you find yourself with a day suddenly devoid of plans, take some time to stop in a say “hello” to Jesus. He is always there waiting for us! And there is nothing better we can do with our time than to pray – and there is so much to pray for.

3.    Pray for our Priests

I say a special prayer after every communion specifically for our priests. My work over the years has brought me into contact with many seminarians and amazingly holy priests. I pray daily for our priests – the priesthood as a whole and also a litany of names of priests that I know personally. Given the circumstances of Fr. Hamel’s martyrdom we need to pray for our priests even more!

Offering prayers for our priests is one of the best ways to help them stay strong in the face of adversity and criticism. Making it a daily practice can make a huge difference for them.

4.    Volunteer

One of the best ways to get outside of ourselves is to give of ourselves to others. If you have a fairly reliable schedule, take some time to pray about organized volunteer opportunities that God may be calling you to. But remember, these opportunities don’t always look like working in a soup kitchen or crisis pregnancy center. Maybe you are called to provide some free babysitting for that family at your parish or help your elderly neighbor with grocery shopping or yard work. Many people shy away from Volunteer work because their schedule is too erratic. If you pray, God will show you many opportunities you will have to make a difference.

Please Wait  

Sold Another Book Copy!! Thank You Very Much!!

I still get a tickle whenever I sell another book!

Please let me know, good or bad, and you can add your review to my author's page and/or you can send me an email at    tibodad@yahoo.com   OK?

Please share my book to family members, friends and other who may be suffering in divorce.


Thanks Again!,

Brian Daniel




My book, mostly about the many UPSIDES of divorce, can help you to find the positive sides too that are available in and after divorce.

Positive changes you can make will build your self esteem, confidence and the want to do even more positives for yourself and your family.

Take a look at my book below if you are interested. My book is all about the upsides.


Brian Daniel





My book "Upside of Divorce" (short title) is available with a discount on my Self-help website above or you can search it on Amazon and buy it there too.

AND, A KINDLE EDITION OF MY BOOK IS NOW AVAILABLE, for just $4.99!

10 Positive Lessons Children Learn From Divorce ---- DivorcedMoms.com

Another article about how a POSITIVE approaches can help you develop a POSITIVE Divorce Recovery!  No Matter WHO You Are!!




My book, mostly about the many UPSIDES of divorce, can help you to find the positive sides too that are available in and after divorce.

Positive changes you can make will build your self esteem, confidence and the want to do even more positives for yourself and your family.

Take a look at my book below if you are interested. My book is all about the upsides.


Brian Daniel





My book "Upside of Divorce" (short title) is available with a discount on my Self-help website above or you can search it on Amazon and buy it there too.

AND, A KINDLE EDITION OF MY BOOK IS NOW AVAILABLE, for just $4.99!





Here is the article.





We constantly read about the negative impact of divorce on children. We, as parents know that our children need special concern and attention while we navigate the divorce process and rebuild our lives. And, we attempt to give them everything they are owed.
We rarely hear about the positive impacts of divorce or the ways divorce can change our children for the better. Change them in ways that will, contrary to belief be beneficial as they grow. In spite of what you read children of divorce learn some very positive life lessons that are not always negative ones.

10 Positive Lessons Children Can Learn From Divorce:

1. Children learn that two people who thought they would spend their lives together and raise their children together can make the decision that what is best for their family is to not be together anymore. They learn that when two people fight all the time, despite the harrowing and scary decision to divorce, it is for the betterment of their children and themselves to not stay together.
They learn that marriage is hard and sometimes it doesn’t work and instead of living together unhappy, adults can make the difficult decision to live separately and be happier, either with someone else or alone. They get to live without the stress of living with parents who are either fighting a lot, not interacting much with each other, or are in a strained relationship. This then leads to children who are more relaxed and happier.

2. When two parents can co-parent well, their children learn how, despite their parents deciding to not stay together, they can still both focus on being the best parents they can be to their children. They learn that some people can get along better and parent better when they live apart.

3. You are modeling for your children that you deserve to be in a happy, loving relationship which is a lesson that will serve them well. You are also modeling for them how to get through a very stressful situation. They learn how to grow in the face of hardship. They learn how to find their own power and voice. They also learn that people have to live with the consequences of their actions.

4. Children learn the magnitude of the idea of marriage. They learn the importance of waiting when they are older before making a commitment to another person; The importance of taking a relationship slowly before committing so they make sure they really get to know the other person.

5. Children learn the importance of having close relationships with their siblings. Who knows better about what they are going through than their sibling who is going through the same thing at the same time?

6. Children get more quality time with each parent and get to experience mentally healthier parents (if the parents get themselves help). More often than not, children of divorce experience more professional help- at least second hand from their parents getting help. They learn it is okay to ask for help and to get it when it is needed; that it is not a sign of weakness, rather, it is a sign of strength to get professional help when going through a difficult situation.

7. Children learn to be more empathetic towards others as it is more relevant to their lives when they see one of their friends having difficulty.

8. Children learn to become more self-sufficient. They learn a person is able to be on their own and take care of themselves without having to rely on another person if that person is someone with whom they are not happy.

9. Children learn how to communicate. Many children of divorce live in two different households. They need to learn ways to communicate with each parent in order to ensure their needs are met and that both parents know what is happening in their lives.

10. Children learn time management and organizational skills and also how to be more resilient and adaptable to change. Going back and forth between two households is one of the biggest complaints I hear from children of divorce. Because of this, these children learn quickly how to track their things, as well as their time.

Overall, it is best for kids to grow up in a household with two happy parents who are able to work together in positive ways to make their marriage last. For many people, however, this is not possible and their children would be better off living with two happy parents in two separate houses instead of two unhappy parents living under one roof.

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Divorce and Your Self-Esteem ---- SELF PERCEPTION AND SELF DISCOVERY

I cannot pass up another blog about being POSITIVE in your divorce and your recovery!!


Another article about how a POSITIVE approaches can help you develop a POSITIVE Divorce Recovery!  No Matter WHO You Are!!




My book, mostly about the many UPSIDES of divorce, can help you to find the positive sides too that are available in and after divorce.

Positive changes you can make will build your self esteem, confidence and the want to do even more positives for yourself and your family.

Take a look at my book below if you are interested. My book is all about the upsides.


Brian Daniel





My book "Upside of Divorce" (short title) is available with a discount on my Self-help website above or you can search it on Amazon and buy it there too.

AND, A KINDLE EDITION OF MY BOOK IS NOW AVAILABLE, for just $4.99!





Here is the article.

When the divorce process begins to move along, you may find that your self-esteem is completely gone. You need to learn how to rebuild your self-esteem so that you can move on successfully after the divorce. Moving on successfully means that you are okay not being married to them anymore. It may take months or even a year to get there, but it is a lot of work for some. Some people will take it really hard and the shock of the divorce can be devastating. You need to learn on how to focus on the positive things and learn how to appreciate what you got. You will feel a lot better about your life when you learn how to think positively.


You should never beat yourself down. It’s not your fault, it’s not anyone’s fault, you may have just had a bad marriage, it’s so hard to tell what a marriage will be like until a while after “I do”. Don’t think about the past, but focus on the future. You will want to replace any thoughts where you doubt yourself by stating something that you like about yourself and keep telling yourself that your okay and everything will be okay. You should learn to use positive words to describe yourself like smart, beautiful, ambitious, and so on. You image of yourself will effect your life a lot.


To think positively you need to think things to encourage yourself. You should use self-esteem building activities like talking to yourself in a mirror. Tell your reflection how you feel about yourself in a positive way. You should make encouraging statements and you will actually begin to feel better by doing such things. The first step to rebuilding your esteem after divorce is to let go. You need to place the past in the past and begin to think about ways that you and improve the way you feel about yourself.


The best way to let go of the past is to get dressed up and go to your favorite restaurant and eat alone. If you can go there by yourself and have dinner, then you know that you will be okay. You know that you can be okay with being alone. However, if you feel extremely uncomfortable, as yourself why and then tell yourself some encouraging statements so that you can feel better about the situation and accept being alone or single is just as fine. No one will stare at you, no one will notice you and at the end of the meal you will be much stronger.


You should also let go of any goal of being perfect. This will allow you to adjust and you will lighten up about the entire situation. No one is perfect, but making yourself try to be will only make things worst. This is when you should tell yourself that you’re not perfect, but your perfectly fine being who you are.


If you must you may need to make changes you need to be able to stand on your own. You should decide what you need to do to find yourself again and then reach out. Your level of success and confidence will rise. You should also learn that you can not isolate yourself. You need to be around people and your closest buds will not let your self-esteem dissolve. They will help you through the divorce as well as many other things. Your friends and family should be the key to finding yourself and love after the divorce. You will find the courage to move on by finding comfort in your friends.

WHAT TOPICS DO YOU HELP WITH?

After 300 blogs, I am thinking it may be easier to have you to ask for help that you need.

Any topic is OK with me.

Email  me at      tibodad@yahoo.com

Brian Daniel




My book, mostly about the many UPSIDES of divorce, can help you to find the positive sides too that are available in and after divorce.

Positive changes you can make will build your self esteem, confidence and the want to do even more positives for yourself and your family.

Take a look at my book below if you are interested. My book is all about the upsides.





My book "Upside of Divorce" (short title) is available with a discount on my Self-help website above or you can search it on Amazon and buy it there too.

AND, A KINDLE EDITION OF MY BOOK IS NOW AVAILABLE, for just $4.99!

Thanks for a Look!!

Brian Daniel




My Products and Services are still available through the email address     tibodad@yahoo.com
and  @BrianDaniel12

I can still help others with my products and services along with coaching too.

Amazon retains my book sales and Kindle versions and my author's page and blog as well.

And I retain 100+ books to autograph and use as direct sales.

It was my pleasure to use my website and help others with divorce recovery, saving and investing,     R and D Tax Credits, Unsuitable Investments and so on.

My Blogs retain most of my advertising now and I still will use Twitter.

THANKS VERY MUCH  to ALL OF YOU!

Brian

By The Way, My Website , "Self-Help-Products-and-Services.com" is no longer available

It was a great domain for the last eight years or so, but all good things come to an end.

My Products and Services are still available through the email address     tibodad@yahoo.com
and  @BrianDaniel12

I can still help others with my products and services along with coaching too.

Amazon retains my book sales and Kindle versions and my author's page and blog as well.

And I retain 100+ books to autograph and use as direct sales.

It was my pleasure to use my website and help others with divorce recovery, saving and investing,     R and D Tax Credits, Unsuitable Investments and so on.

My Blogs retain most of my advertising now and I still will use Twitter.

THANKS VERY MUCH  to ALL OF YOU!

Brian Daniel

Self-Help-Products-and-Services -- (website is no longer used)

 I wanted to do another original blog that connects a lot of all the products and services that are in my expertise and my Coaching Services are $40 per Hour for more detailed Help and assistance.


You can contact me at     tibodad@yahoo.com


Please allow me to add additional details in another blog and will share much more detail there.


Thanks for your patience,
Brian Daniel






DIVORCE RECOVERY


My divorce recovery book, 

"Yes There Is An Upside of Divorce, It Can Be Your Second Chance At Life!"

was the foundation to help others in divorce see the upsides of divorce. Having a POSITIVE attitude helps your self esteem.

Reducing negative thoughts, using your favorite music to lift  and staying busy with positive things to do, like better fitness, health and home improvements are important.



With all of these products and services, you can indeed, help yourself to have a happier life and more enjoyable life too!



MONEY ITEMS


My 10 Best Money Ideas can help you save more money. Because, when divorce monies are split, you may have to be more frugal. You need to reduce expenses and get more for your money. Consider having a second job.

My investment coaching will help you grow a larger nest egg for retirement. You need to save and invest wisely. Learn to use all tax advantaged savings--Health Savings Accounts, 401Ks, IRAs, and reduce taxes (more itemized items, used more municipal bonds).

R&D Tax Credits and Getting Money Back From a Bad Investment can also Save Thousands and Millions!




OUR NATIONAL FEDERAL DEFICENT
I have just started some interest (I hope!) in supporting a National Referendum VOTE to Balance the Federal Budget in 5 Years?       Many State Budgets do it!

  All Americans would VOTE, Yes or No, to Balance the Federal Budget in 5 Years, if Yes wins,it will be Law--it is that simple!

 34 states must support this National Referendum to allow Americans to VOTE for a Balanced Federal Budget, Please help us!

 Will you ask your state to support this National Referendum VOTE to Balance the Federal Budget in 5 Years? Please reply!




BETTER HEALTH, FITNESS AND MORE HAPPINESS!


With all of the time you now have after divorce, you should get busy improving your health and fitness. Vitamins and supplements can support weight loss. This will increase your self esteem and that leads to more happiness.

You may have lost some friends in your divorce and you will need to make some new friends.

Community service will add more esteem and you may find more friends there too.

Home improvement and new or old hobbies may lead to more happiness. These positive things-to-do and further personal improvements provide  more self esteem and happiness.




REACHING SELF-ACTUALIZATION


This is going above and beyond the items above!

Reducing weight below Body Mass index, doing 200 pushups and 100 pullups daily and doing them until you are ninety years old!

Learning to manage your own money and investments!

Getting back your Money from a Bad Investment and Using R&D Tax Credits to improve profitability in your company or small business!

Finding a great place to retire!!!

Being a BETTER  at Golf and/or your hobbies!!




FINDING A NEW PARTNER


What could be better than a best friend, confidant, lover?

How to find that person can be a great adventure.   My book below, has a lot of information  that can help you!








My book, mostly about the many UPSIDES of divorce, can help you to find the positive sides too that are available in and after divorce.

Positive changes you can make will build your self esteem, confidence and the want to do even more positives for yourself and your family.

Take a look at my book below if you are interested. My book is all about the upsides.


Brian Daniel






My book "Upside of Divorce" (short title) is available with a discount on my Self-help website above or you can search it on Amazon and buy it there too.

AND, A KINDLE EDITION OF MY BOOK IS NOW AVAILABLE, for just $4.99!

Beyond Marriage: 7 Effective Ways to Happiness After Divorce --- Read more at http://www.tinzwei.com

Max Quijano was over at his ex-wife’s house in Toronto the other day doing laundry for their two children. While he was at it, he did his ex-wife’s laundry, too. A friend of his called to ask what Quijano was up to. When he found out he was aghast.

“Yes, I do her laundry but she does amazing things for me, too,” Quijano, a 45-year-old computer security analyst, said of his ex-wife Kristin Taylor, a 39-year-old manager. “It’s both ways.”

The exes had an enviably amicable divorce. They separated in 2008 after five years of marriage: The fighting (plus having little in common) was making them profoundly unhappy. Taylor resisted the split initially, clinging to “some imaginary perfect life.” A stint in therapy helped her understand they’d survive a divorce: “He’s a good dad. I’m a good mom. We make a terrible couple.”

Quijano moved out but returned to the family home every morning to see his son and daughter off to daycare, picking them up in the afternoons. Four years later, Quijano was missing his kids badly and battling severe depression after losing a job. And so his ex-wife generously invited him to move back in for a while, into their son’s room. The divorcees lived like this for three years before Quijano moved out, but only 150 metres away. “It’s like it’s the same house, just separated by a few blocks,” he says.

Quijano and Taylor now live in separate homes - only 150 metres apart. (Christopher Katsarov for The Globe and Mail)

For the Toronto exes, the guiding principles were to put their kids first and not forget what it was that brought them together in the first place. “From the very beginning since we met and got married, we just always agreed on being good people, regardless of anything,” said Quijano, who, incidentally, invited his ex-wife and ex-in-laws to his wedding when he remarried last summer.

A Canadian snapshot

70,226

Number of Canadians divorced in one year.

41.9

Average age women divorce.

44.5

Average age men divorce.

43

Percentage of marriages that will dissolve before the 50th anniversary.

13.7

Average number of years of marriage before divorce.

8.2

Divorces in Nunavut, per 10,000 people, the lowest rate in Canada.

32.6

Divorces in Yukon, per 10,000 people, the highest rate in Canada.

Source: Statistics Canada, 2008

The exes are two in a legion re-envisioning divorce in hopes of splitting with dignity. These husbands and wives want what’s best for their kids, which is family, and they want to salvage their own sanity. Many are doing things differently because they saw the carnage of their parents’ divorces, with mom and dad not speaking or badmouthing each other in front of the kids. There are good reasons why some divorces go very badly: chronic infidelity, abuse, mental illness and addiction can make separating traumatic. But for others parting under less extenuating circumstances, divorce can be an awakening: Some people find they are better ex-spouses than they were spouses.

Some 41 per cent of marriages will dissolve before the 30th anniversary, according to Statistics Canada data from 2008, the last year the agency collected divorce information. Even as Canadians live longer and struggle to maintain long-term monogamous unions, many have been rethinking how they want to end those unions.

The advent of no-fault divorce in this country in 1968 brought the first pivotal shift: Canadians could divorce simply for falling out of love following a separation period; no longer was cruelty or adultery – polarizing good-guy/bad-guy scenarios – the prerequisite for splitting up. Shared parenting also became the norm, with fathers increasingly involved in raising kids after a divorce.

Today, many of these exes are actively trying to drop the antagonistic timbre of separation. They’re choosing collaborative divorce and hiring mediators to avoid adversarial litigation and high court costs. They’re seeking out specialized therapists, divorce coaches and “divorce doulas” to calm the waters. Technology is also stepping in, with websites such as Positive Co-Parenting After Divorce and apps such as 2Houses and OurFamilyWizard helping exes parent more seamlessly with forums, resources, shared calendars and contacts lists.

These are some of the cultural shifts surveyed in U.S. journalist Wendy Paris’s new book Splitopia: Dispatches from Today’s Good Divorce and How to Part Well. Through a rigorous review of the existing research literature on divorce, plus interviews with more than 200 exes, as well as lawyers, therapists and coaches, Paris offers a new mindset around separation. She examines why divorce has remained so shrouded in ignorance, why we fear bad splits but fail to recognize bad marriages, and why “horror stories suck up the airtime,” even as many couples are taking a more civilized way forward – leaving the old-style, cold-turkey divorce behind. She believes the good divorce will eventually become the norm.

“People are going to partner up and hope it lasts forever. Those relationships are going to continually break up. The law and research is pushing us toward shared parenting. This is a shift in doctrine that forces people to remain involved with each other. It has to go this way,” the author said in an interview from Los Angeles.