Wednesday, May 22, 2013

How Does One Start Divorce Recovery?

Although there can be many different paths to meaningful divorce recovery, the underlying common thread seems to be the decision to move on. The decision to start over, using this second chance at life, and moving on past your previous life is a "door" that many go through to begin their  life anew.

The time it takes to go through that door can be weeks, months, years and sometimes, some never reach that point of moving on. For most divorced partners, time is needed to change where you will live, moving in or out, getting acclamated to new surroundings and this fills your  new months after divorce. Adjusting to new schedules, doing new things that were done by your partner can take some more months.

Eventually though, one will find themself with more hours available now and again to do something else.
What will that be?
          More time to think what went wrong between me and my partner?
          Wondering why the splitting up occurred?  Who is at fault?
          When will I want to face family and friends about all these things above?

Or will your time be spent in other ways?
         Should I get a hobby?  Get a pet? Get on that dating service? Join a Divorce group?
          Get a part time job? Do some community service? Get more fitness and healthy?
         Try something new?  See some old friends? Do some home fix-ups? Gardening?

I have done both of these groups of things.
I seemed to feel bad or became negative when I spent time about all the things that were in the past?
I wanted to fix our problems and wanted to change all this splitting up stuff.
THOSE WERE THINGS I COULDN'T CHANGE.
I did ALL of the things in the second group and I quickly became positive about all of them.
THESE WERE THINGS I COULD CHANGE.

I do ALL of those things still today and I am much happier than I ever thought I would be.

Brian Daniel


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