How Long Does It Take to Move On Past Divorce?

PEOPLE HAVE ASKED ME.....
How long did it take you to find the positive side of your divorce?

My book discusses this at length, but the short answer is "about two years" for most everyone. Many books I have read say the same thing.

PERSONALLY, It took me only a few weeks. I was a lucky one.
After two weeks of pleading by me to try counseling, I gave up on that and started thinking just about me and my two boys. My oldest was going to college and already on his own. The youngest son was going to be a sophomore in high school and was very close to his Mom. We were lucky about our boys' ages.

That left me to decide only what I want to do for ME mostly.

While finishing our dissolution terms with a lawyer about the same couple of weeks later, he remarked, "Wow! you've got to be the most positive guy I've seen this early in a divorce!" I liked that! I knew then I was on my way to a better life for me!
My positive thinking helped a lot!


SOME OTHER FOLKS CAN SPEND VERY LONG TIMES TRYING TO GET STARTED AND MOVE ON PAST THEIR DIVORCE OR SEPARATION. It is mostly up to each of us.

HERE ARE A COUPLE ANSWERS FROM TWO OTHERS...
1) I am not there yet. I wanted my husband to go to counseling and while we went he was dating other women. After realizing he was not going to put his energy back into our relationship and our family, I decided to file for divorce.
I have joined a single mother's ministry at church, reconnected with old friends and continue to make new ones. The loss and hurt are still very present & painful.
Everyday I remind myself to do the right thing for me and our child - it just still hurts.

2)I was lucky, it took me no time at all to be noticed by a lovely lady who charmed me into forgetting about my troubles and gave me something to look forward to!


THERE ARE MANY OTHER STORIES, BUT AGAIN THE MOST REPORTED AVERAGE TIME IS TWO YEARS.
It takes that much time to get into your new living arrangements, a new or part time job, new routines, new friends and perhaps a lot of time to think through what you want to do now and how to get started.
THERE ARE NO RIGHT ANSWERS FOR YOUR SITUATION. BE COMFORTABLE AND TAKE YOUR TIME.
I HAVE FOUND THAT FASTER IS MOSTLY BETTER, ESPECIALLY IF YOU GET BUSY TRYING NEW THINGS. If busy enough, you will wake up some day after a great day you just had and realize you have already moved on!!

Brian Daniel