The UPSIDE of Fear?

I read another divorce blogger's article with this title above.

All partners in divorce have fears. They may be different ones, but fear itself is present at least a little in everyones' divorce.

The point of this topic is that fear can be debilitating. The fear may be about being alone, concerned about support and financial future, loss of friends and so forth.

In the end, the blogger's claim is that FEAR provides an eventual realization that the reasons for fear have to be dealt with. And, this is the UPSIDE.

The UPSIDE is the push the fear presents. Needing to make new friends, doing something to improve your financial condition, fighting lonely situations with getting up and doing something instead can all be upsides from fear.

I have in my book dealt similarly with the negative sides of divorce and the OPPORTUNITES that can help get one busy with their new life.

The UPSIDES for all of us who will face their fears and start doing something about those fears is the key element here.

Fear can be an UPSIDE.

Brian Daniel

Getting Married Again? Yes?, No?, Maybe?

Here's a topic with varied opinions.

I have met divorced ladies who have been married two more times after their first divorce in just a couple or three years.

I dated one of these ladies for about seven months which was longer than her third husband. I didn't feel too bad about that after we broke up.

I find a lot of companionship with single ladies and have year long relationships or more. (Sorry, I don't have much experience about men who have been married again, or not--men don't talk about this stuff!)

But I believe age has an effect, more about it when younger than older, and grown up children too as to whether marriage is wanted, needed or not.

 Younger ladies with young children can find another partner with some kids too and they can share the total work together. Is this a marriage of convenience?

Older ex-partners with kids out of the home may not want to marry but live together (or not).

Marriage does bring some entanglements when the two partners split. Having been through one divorce, I am not anxious to be "bound together" and suffer the consequences of another break-up.

Brian Daniel

Joining Another Blog On Divorce!

No, I am NOT leaving my own blog! I have been asked to blog on certain topics after divorce from a new blogger.

I will point you to that "Guest Blog" when I get the details.

I was asked to discuss whatever topics I may have experience or expertise about. I sent them eight topics and they liked the following three:

        "Internet Dating" ..........."is a topic we (they) haven't covered too much and would be great."


         "Getting over the downsides of divorce" .............."is a good one for us as well."

         "New things to do" ................"as well."

It was interesting to me that these three topics above were selected by the blogger requesting  topics and they have a magazine all about divorce. 

These blogs are some of the best blogs I have written, have received the most favorable replies and ones that my book readers "liked the best".

I will look forward to this invitation.

Brian Daniel

On the Radio on October 26th!

I will be on at 10am (EST, I think!) for an half hour and will supply the details later on in October.

This radio show is all about how ex-partners can positively move on past divorce.

There will be several guests and on all Fridays at 10 am and I'll blog here as soon as possible when it starts.

These shows may start as soon as this Friday. I believe the radio show will be weekly and all the way through November.

Like most shows, I will be calling in and then connected to the show.

Generally, these shows have an internet connection too and the audio will play through your PC speakers.

I will try to get the internet connection for all the weeks before my spot.

I will request the connection from the show host.

I might have these connections tomorrow!

Brian Daniel

Buy My Divorce Recovery Book On My Website!

This way, you get the same book from Amazon for about $5 less!

I have cut my website price for my book to $13.50 and the handling fees are smaller than Amazon's.

I will mail your book to you within 24 hours after your PayPal notice comes to my website.

You will see near the end of my book that I have my email address available for your feedback.

Let me know, GOOD or BAD, about how my book was in helping your friends, family or yourself, OK?

Thanks for your book purchase, through my website or from Amazon.

Brian Daniel

My "Upside of Divorce" Book is a Coaching Plan!

When I wrote my divorce recovery book, I wanted it be a real self help book about how to make the most of one's second chance at life after divorce.

The book starts with how to deal with the common "downsides" of divorce which are mostly emotional and interpersonal in nature. These are the most common for all divorced/separated partners.

The turning point occurs with understanding that it is best to change what you can control. And that is changing yourself and all the things that revolve around yourself.

You will then find all the many more upsides of having that second chance to find a happier more enjoyable life than the previous one you just left.

And the various chapters in my book go into great enough detail to show you HOW to make these changes for yourself and your NEW  better life after divorce.
This is how my book "coaches" one through moving on positively past divorce/separation.

I have talked to several readers of my book about their own specific longer term issues and our discussions over the internet were good and produced good results for my readers.

Coaching anyone who is interested can contact me at       tibodad@yahoo.com    or
james@self-help-products-and-services.com

On my website there are many products and services that I offer than can be specific to your own particular problems that still linger on for you.

I can coach anyone on a variety of personal topics, in addition to those that others have commonly purchased from my website.

Brian Daniel

Longevity Depends on Marital Status?

I saw another blog today that had data revealing that never marrieds had a 60% higher incidence of earlier death, widows and widowers had a 30% chance and divorced partners had a 40% chance of shorter life than married couples.

Have you seen any of those studies?  Do you believe them?

I would believe that these averages may be true generally, but that there is more to it than just your marital status. Things like diet, use of medications, fitness, outlook on life, times spent with family and friends, hobbies, regular exercise, community service and so many other social interactions, health, genes, and so on may have the greatest impact.

Is it really just marital status?  I don't think so!

I could believe that if only marital status is studied and no other factors are studied, never marrieds may have more exposure to being alone more often which can be less fulfilling and maybe be worse off?, widows and widowers may spend time together more and counter the loneliness and maybe least affected?, and divorced partners, without a partner, and having some negative baggage left still to carry around may be a bit more susceptible?

In any case, I find marital status not a thing to worry about. Too many things can be used to increase one's longevity.

I'm doing several of the good things that can help increase length of living.

And I'm focusing on each and every day to live its fullness. When I do go, I want to be tired, not bored.

Brian Daniel

http://www.Self-Help-Products-and-Services.com

My divorce recovery book, "Upside of Divorce", for short, is a "self-help" book. The helpful information can allow other divorced partners to see the upsides of divorce and how to find a happier and more enjoyable life after divorce, just like I did.

My book covers personal self-help about changing yourself, not others.
Getting rid of anger, not putting friends and family in the middle of your divorce, learning all the good ways to move on with your new life are chapters to help you move positively past divorce.

There are many other chapters about internet dating, better health and fitness and exploring many other positive things-to-do.

Learning how to be happier and enjoying every day in your life are other "self-help" chapters in my book.

You just need to want to do these things. When you are  ready, you will do them.




My website above has also self-help information about :
       Money Saving Ideas
       Tips to Play Better Golf
       How to Get Back Money from a Bad Investment
       How to Use R&D Tax Credits
       Getting Coaching for Personal Improvement

You may find some of these other self-help products interesting and valuable too.

Brian Daniel

Getting Past the Downsides of Divorce is Key!

My great divorce recovery occurred because I quickly saw the downsides were keeping me down about my divorce.

Downsides of less money, too much lonely time, not seeing the kids or old friends, not knowing what to do next...sound familiar?

These downsides can keep you down too! Loss of self esteem and depression can be a quick realities.

For me, the Serenity Prayer's wisdom was a focus point. You can't change others, but you can change you and your options.

Knowing that you DO have the rest of your life and that you can DO whatever you want is a helpful positive side, yes? Start with that. Look at your possible opportunities in the future, maybe more good things to try?

Next thing you know, you are busy thinking about the many more GOOD things that may be ahead for you.

You will then start to see the REAL possible upsides of your divorce. You are going past the downsides now, it is more fun thinking about the upsides!

The front part of my book is about all of this. You can DO this!

Brian Daniel

What QUESTIONS Might You Have For Me?

I have the google numbers on how many times my blog has been seen (and hopefully read!)

I may have lots of readers who come and go?
Or maybe just a handfull that stop by and read most of these blogs?

Well, I like to fish and I hope I have thrown a line in out there to see if someone will answer this blog and even better, may have a question for me to answer?

My email is handled by          James@self-help-products-and-services.com

I wouldn't put anyone's question on my blog - only if someone said it was OK for me to do so.

Brian Daniel

My UPSIDES of Divorce?

After nine and a half years past my divorce settlement, it may be interesting for you to hear what MY Upsides of divorce are......

Better Health and Fitness -
I have lost 25 to 30 lbs, lost 2 inches off my waist, dropped my blood pressue 10 points on average, and my Body Mass Index is 22.9, well within the normal range now after being obese or slightly obese.
I'm still doing 100 pushups, 100 pullups, and 200 front kicks (kick-boxing) every day. I also do run-walks at 12 minute mile rate  and do other aerobic exercise about 3 times a week.

Still Dating Too -
I have had monogamous relationships with eight different women over these past years and my latest one has been the longest one too. I still felt the infatuation with each lady too, just like a teenager and have had no regrets with any of them.

Got a Hobby Second Job -
I have spent almost nine years now working part-time at a golf country club where I could earn some more money and play at golf for almost nothing. I have met many new friends and some business contacts too.

Doing NEW things -
Learning woodworking and making garage storage cabinets and then a winemaking room as well as a wine cellar.
Making and bottling my own wine using six different dry reds. I make 200 bottles or so and then take a couple or three years to consume it all.

Trying an Internet Business -
After writing and self publishing my divorce recovery book, I made and designed my own website, pay center, and doing my own Small Business taxes.

Doing Community Service -
I have been planting trees, helping with the restoration of public parks and propagating and supplying perennial grasses, flowers and shrubs for all the ten or twelve Habitat Houses in my hometown. I think I have been doing the Habitat Houses for seven years now.

LIVING EVERY DAY -
This upside of divorce for me was very important, enough to use all cap letters because it is part of all the upsides above and how well and how happy and satisfied I have become with my second chance at life.

You can do these things too.

Brian Daniel

More Positive Directions One Can Take After Divorce

My book is all about the positive opportunities one can take after divorce. Others ex-partners point to their upsides of divorce in many different ways.

I saw another one on twitter the other day that had a bit more colorful language. It was a pair of ladies whose twitter address has to do with "DUMPED".

Their intro line of what they were about was short and sweet.......

                                   Get Off Your "Butt" and Over Your Ex in Record Time!

My book aims for divorced partners to quickly get busy and change what you can about yourself  to be a better person. This focus can indeed help you to quickly move on and get over your ex.

I myself had decided in just several weeks to start a new life and get busy about all the new things-to-do that I wanted to do.

I was able quickly to feel less dumped in my previous life and more liberated to explore my new life!

You can too!

Brian Daniel

Another Radio Interview Coming Up

I have had the pleasure to discuss my book on radio shows in the past.

I may have another chance in the next month or two with a radioshow that is for Divorced Partners and how they can move on positively with their new life.

My book is all about that transition from anger/low self esteem/guilt/loneliness  to  a happier, more enjoyable life AFTER divorce!

I have always been able to get more immediate book sales soon after a radio show!

I will keep you posted about this.

Brian Daniel

Sold Another Book Yesterday!

It always makes me proud that new readers still buy my book!

It has been almost four years since I started selling them.

But my title and my stories on my author's page are still interesting to others who may be suffering a divorce.

My book is more often picked than one written by a divorce proessional, but much less than other "better" sellers. Having a publisher can be a large edge in selling books.

But I am satisfied and continue to encouraged by each and every book sale I get.

Thanks to my latest reader!

PS: ...my last chapter offers email feedback to all who buy my book....

Brian Daniel

Moving On Positively Past Divorce/Separation

When I was divorcing, I went to bookstores to look for something "POSITIVE" about divorce.

There was not much positive about divorcing, some ten years ago when I was in divorce.

It took me about six years to finish my positive divorce book and even in 2008, publishers, churches and friends, shook their heads and said there is nothing positive about divorce!

Since my book was out, and over the last four more years, there have been several books and blogs too about the positive aspects of divorce.

You can see some of these when you search my book "Upside of Divorce" om Amazon. Blogs have used "upside of divorce" in their titles too. One lady celebrity even added a smiley face to her signiature on her divorce papers.

There are many positive books and blogs and stories about positive sides of divorce/separation. You won't need to search a lot to find something that will help you, friends or family.

Feel free to email me at tibodad@yahoo.com or on twitter @BrianDaniel12