The Unexpected Upside of Divorce

This blog below was written in 2009 by Marjie Killeen on her website called "Forty Fabulous".....

I have written many blogs about how there are many more upsides to divorce or separation to many book buyers and unbelievers too.
Read below how someone else can see the upsides. Brian Daniel



The Unexpected Upside of Divorce

Divorce isn't easy for either party, but it's especially painful for the spouse who's left behind. As Armando said, "It takes two to get married, but only one to get a divorce." However, as the dust of their marriages settles, both Armando and Lance have begun to feel that they've grown from the experience.


Armando feels his divorce "has been an awakening. I have a stronger sense of character since going through the crisis."


Lance agrees. "Divorce in a weird way has made me feel that I have a more valuable life perspective to share with my kids," he said. "I've been through something. If you asked me - when did you feel like you were a grown man? I'd say just this year."


Although both men opposed divorce and fought to keep their families together, they now see that they weren't getting what they needed from their marriages either.


One of Lance's oldest friends told him "You dodged a bullet. You don't want to grow old with a woman who was gonna treat you like shit and doesn't like you."


Lance feels he deserves to be treated better - to be appreciated - and in his current relationship, he is. Armando has also done a lot of thinking about what he wants from his next girlfriend.


"Relationship problems stem from yourself," he said. "You need to love yourself in a healthy way. Be connected, but not dependent. Leave some space." Armando jokes about looking for some T&A, but says the most important quality he's really seeking is trust.


"Once it's been violated, it takes work to get it back."


Since they've split from their wives, Vince, Armando and Marlon have discovered there are parts of living alone they really enjoy - especially the lack of conflict.


"I feel more peaceful, not stressed out, " said Marlon. "I enjoy my freedom and I can make decisions for myself without having to compromise all the time."


Of course, being single again brings newfound drama, and that has its upside too.


As Vince put it, "It makes you feel alive."